The Pimpmasters

𝟏.𝟐𝟐 || 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐳 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐳

Renz, the mysterious lover of Krystal, had a very strange life story. He suffered from compulsive lying, though only he, his immediate family, and his wife knew that. Yup, that's right, I said wife.

Renz was neither the age he told Krystal or the age he told Layla. In fact, he was even older. He was forty year old man, blessed with a bastard baby face, and knew how adjust to whomever he was speaking with so that his lie would appear genuine.

The woman that Krystal saw the a few weeks back, was Renz's girlfriend. Not "girlfriend" like how Krystal is, but rather, actual girlfriend. Like, he officially asked that woman to be his lady. So there were three women in the picture. But in his head, Renz had an excuse. His wife, Cindy, was on the verge of leaving him. They split, and Cindy was seeing someone else, which was why Renz lived in that apartment. It's all good though, because that helped fuel his lie about being a youngster straight out of college.

Krystal was Renz's first non-white fling. He didn't typically find people of color to be pretty, but Krystal was a different breed. She was pretty, naturally, and was just so youthful looking. In fact, now that I, the narrator, think about it, Renz is a borderline pedo.

But anyways! Renz didn't have the heart to tell Krystal the truth... in fact he wouldn't have done it either way, he practically incapable of speaking the truth. But he liked her, truly, and though he could never seriously be with her, he did intent on making her a very happy woman.

And Renz wasn't dumb either, though he was a liar from hell. He knew that Krystal was catching on, and he knew that he needed to do something big and spontaneous to derail her focus.

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

Being deployed sucked ass I tell you! All these motherfuckers are boring and when they do talk, it's about army shit.

"There's no way you guys sit around doing nothing" I said to my three bunk mates. "No way."

"If you were a part of the club," Jimmy said, "you'd see how fun we really were." I cocked an eyebrow at Jimmy, whose name was actually James, but calling him James then calling me James would've been complicated...so everybody called him Jimmy now.

"How do I join said club?" I asked, "I'm curious."

"Imitation" Jimmy answered, as the other two bunkers sat up and started paying attention to the conversation that Jimmy and I were having.

"Man" I said, "I been doing initiations my whole life. That shit is light work, what's I gotta do?"

"You gotta kiss Carl's sister" Brady added to the conversation. Carl was the third roommate.

"That's light" I said, "but I'm kinda married."

"Excuses" Carl scoffed, "you're scared."

"Why would I be scared to kiss a girl?" I asked defensively. "If you know about all the crazy shit I've done in my time, you'd know that's light work."

"Cassidy isn't just 'any girl,' that's why" Carl insisted. "I'm gonna show you a picture of her. Make sure you don't have any food or liquid in your mouth."

"Um?" I replied, "okay?"

Carl proceeded to turn his phone, in slow motion, and presented to me the ugliest girl in mankind history. Seriously, Freda Kahlo, Jackie Kennedy, and Betty Friedan couldn't make an uglier person if they tried. I gagged upon seeing this Cassidy thing.

"If you don't do it, you're gonna be known as a chicken" Jimmy insisted. "And trust me, you'd rather be known for kissing an ugly chick. At least, around here anyways."

"Why is that?" I asked, and the guys looked at one another as if they were about to connive and tell me some fake spooky story. But they didn't.

"If you're seen as a "bitch," the gays will take advantage of you" Brady informed me. "And you're probably thinking you can fight them off or handle them, but I assure you, you cannot."

"You don't even wanna be in that position" Carl scoffed, shaking his head, "you'll kill your self."

"Can I at least get a few days to decide if I really wanna do that or not?" I asked.

The guys looked at one another. "Sure" Brady said.