Sugar and Sinnamon

Worries and concerns

“Sometimes I don't believe you're real, baby. I think my mind created you and I finally went completely insane!”

“Yes, Al. As a figment of your imagination, I tell you that you are definitely crazy.”

“Aw, I'm crazy about you~”

Alastor must have had a tender day today, because you've been showered with compliments since the morning. Well, maybe it hadn't been since THIS morning, but for about two days, but you still couldn't get used to him and his cheesy flirtations. Alastor was the type to say "almost sweet like you" or the aforementioned "I'm crazy about you" whenever he could. The cheesiest things like that, and you thought he didn't believe it was a good flirt and he was doing it just to irritate you. Very in character.

“You're getting cheesier by the day.” you muttered, drinking your tea and watching the snow fall through the window

“Don't you love it, dear?” he chuckled, clasping your hands together

“You know I do.” you gasped, but your head was too preoccupied with something else

Well, it was rather obvious with what. The fact that Alastor was so open, or at least trying so hard, made you think about telling him about the problem that was bothering you. On the other hand, you didn't want to be ridiculed if he thought you were exaggerating. That is, you were sure he had worse things happen to him, damn the guy was almost killed by an angel once and he got over it and here you were stressed because you got a strange message. How pathetic can you be?

Well, apparently very pathetic.

“Dear, come back to me. Sweet cupcake?”

You just realized that Alastor was talking to you all this time and you tuned out for a moment and literally missed everything he said to you.

“Sorry, I…” you started, searching for words

“Lost in thoughts?” Alastor chuckled, placing your hand closer to his mouth, placing a kiss on your knuckles “You've been thinking a lot lately, are you sure you don't want to talk about it?”

“I don't know, I've been having, well, a bit of a problem lately…” you spoke quietly, having no idea what you wanted to say. Is this really a good idea?

“Do you want to talk about it here or would you rather go to a more private corner?”

“A room would be nice.”

Alastor stood up and stood next to him, extending his hand to you, and you placed yours on top of his. You stood up and he pulled you closer and put his arm around you instead of holding your hand, giving you a kiss on the forehead before leading you to your room. 

Once you were in a better, more private place and wanted to sit on the bed, you were placed sideways on his lap so you could see his face. You should probably be used to it by now, but you still felt embarrassed, afraid that you were too heavy for him. Alastor never said anything about your weight, but you couldn't read his mind and you couldn't tell if he even found you attractive. What if he actually preferred it if you were thinner and taller, maybe like Rosie? No matter how you looked at it, you knew that there were many demons who were infatuated with Alastor, and you didn't even mean that one deranged demoness, and all the ones who were interested in him looked much better than you. You thought the time for worrying about your appearance was over after you graduated, but apparently that part of you has been reawakened.
The only person who saw you not very  dressed was Angel Dust when you were bathing together but you were covered in foam, plus he was gay. Husk wasn't helping because he didn't care about anything and you were pretty sure he didn't notice what you looked like, which wasn't too surprising. Theoretically, the only person you could ask would be Adam…
You wondered if, for example, Alastor would ever want to see you naked. That is, you were a fan of hot baths, and you couldn't help but admit that you had a dream that you two would bathe together one day, of course you didn't mean it would be soon. It was just something that was on your mind when you thought about such a nice ending to the day. The fact is that you slept together in the same bed, so he saw you in only your nightgown (you didn't see him, because he had those old-fashioned kind of pajamas where practically no skin is visible), but you were covered. Not only were you under the covers, but also under him, so you sincerely doubted that he saw any of your stretch marks, fat folds, or other imperfections.