In Sign Language, I Hear You ( Transmigrated as Deaf and Muted )

Sign Thirty Six

Her name in her previous life was Lara Dena. One that was envied by many, one that many believed as someone who lived in the upper place where luxury and happiness were. As Lara Dena, she was having smooth straight black hair when she never had to take care frequently yet gave a natural beauty. She had big black eyes that many desired to have. Her face was flawless even she never took daily skincare. She found it easy to learn things in shortly and even though without doing a diet, she already had a perfect body goal that everyone adored.

Moreover, life chooses to put her as the sole heir of the superior company in that world. So, somehow it was indeed she was being looked up to by many people. Many women lined up adoring her, sometimes envied her. Many men lined up to court her, desired her, and lust for her. and, 

Yes, she was indeed standing in the upper place where many desired to be one.

Yes, she was indeed proud to be one.

The fact that the things could easily she have.

The fact that people praised her.

There was a unique ecstasy that made her addicted to that kind of treatment. Even she, who is now living as another girl, in another universe still found it nice to be praised. She will not try to be a hypocrite, it is indeed a nice thing to know someone appreciate things she had done or had.

Yet, the previous her was standing in the higher place for her to then somehow questioning, what was the point of being in such place? She was always wondering why she had to be born that way.... because, even though she, herself, at that time still not yet realized and could not find the answer-but her heart and body somehow recognized the whole world of her, had its own burden and responsibilities as equal as the position she was in.

It was exhausting her mentally and physically.

It was filled with heavy expectations.

It was filled with faked and empty hopes.

It was filled with ugly truths.

'.... are they friends or foes?' 

and, even a simple question that humans should easily answer, remained a difficult thing to know.

Ironic is not it?

and... the saddest thing was, there were no people who came to her about the painful reality before she then entirely put her expectation in that place. She was too blinded and hanged in that hellish place.... as she thought no one in this world better than her own position. She then just knew the truth in the most horrible way and she regretted it every second.

She was thought, that no one could fill her expectation other than the place she was standing.

' ... and I am not really blaming her.' because she was just trying to survive in that world. If she somehow could go back to her previous world when the previous her still living, she wants to give her a big hug and embrace her tight. Then, say her gratitude for somehow living.

... now, she could somehow say that she is improving. The fact that she is now thriving for living is something she wants to give her gratitude to herself. The she who was surviving through all the nightmares... the she, who then realized how beautiful the world is...

She, herself, could not describe her gratitude is.

Yet... it does not mean that she could forget all of that. Even, she starts to realize that her wounds healed, that does not mean it vanished away.

So,

"....so, unless you are a fool, you should aware of your position,"  it pissed her off listening to that kind words from someone who barely know her, because Irisha could not understand how else should she understand her position?