Heart beats

Chapter 15

*Luna*

Looking at my dad lay unconscious with all those machines connected to him only made me feel fear. I don't recall ever being this scared in my entire life. I dreaded this day like a terminal disease. I don't even know if I have a little faith cause the faithless battle going on in my mind right now, is only getting the best of me.
Is daddy gonna die?
What am I gonna do if I lose him?
Do I deserve to lose the man I love so damn much?
I just wanna rip my wig off. I can't take all of this at once.

Yesterday after receiving that call from Mama Brenda, I've become rather numb. I haven't had anything to eat. I've been unable to eat. I haven't slept. I'm drained. Yet I can't imagine closing my eyes for one second, due to the fact that I fear that if I do, he'd disappear. If he was gonna die, I don't wanna miss our last goodbye.
My life keeps falling apart more and more each day. This is all my greedy mothers fault. I hate her so much.
"Luna, listen you have to rest. Don't stress yourself more than you've already done. Just keep faith alive and let's hope for the best"
Hearing Dr. Deans voice only angered me more. Ever since I came in yesterday, I haven't been blind to his lustful stares at me. He distanced himself when Pam, Tania and mama Brenda were here. Tanai and Pamela left late last night, but mama Brenda left this morning. She couldn't persuade me to go freshen up with her. I wasn't leaving my daddy alone.
"Okay Doc" I kept my response firm and short. The last thing on my mind is to entertain some dude. Dr Dean is far from my type. I don't know when he'd get the hint that I'm not interested. Right now I dislike him.

I was startled when he placed his arms on my shoulder.
"I'm here for you. If you want a shoulder to cry on. A beautiful lady like you doesn't need all that stress Lu-"
"Get your disinfectant charred hands off me. What has gotten into you? If I wanna stress, let me stress, don't come in here and start playing boyfriend games. My man wouldn't like that. You are my dads doctor and I respect you for all you've been doing so far, but listen here, focus on him and ignore me. Do your damn job"
He looked appalled. But did I really care right now? Hell no.
"What is it that is unattractive about me Luna? I got money, I could take care of you! "
"I can fucking take care of myself! Get outta your feelings. This conversation is over" Tania and Pam stepped in immediately after our little rant. Thank God they just saved my ass.
They walked in with a questioning look. Rolling my eyes at Dr. Dean, they quickly understood.
"Give us some privacy doctor" Tania said giving him a rather fake smile. I watched him walk out in embarrassment.
"Hey sweetie" Pam hugged me after Tania.
"Hi girls"
"How are you holding up? " Pam asked rubbing my back.
"I really don't have an answer to that question." My voice was barely above a whisper. I heard them sigh.
"You should go freshen up and catch some sleep. Mama B said we should come take you home. She's on her way here." Pam let me know.
"I don't wanna go" I wiped the tears that began to fall again.
"Come on Lu. Don't cry. He'd be alright, you gotta be positive " Tania hugged me from the back. The comfort and sympathy only made me wanna cry even more.
"Let's take you home. We would keep you company" Pam suggested. For some reason I didn't want anyone's company. I just wanted to be left alone for some time.
"No thanks guys, but I wanna be alone if you don't mind" they both nodded in understanding.
"We'd let you have some alone time bit we'd be back to check up on you when we feel you've had enough alone time." Tania said with a smile. What am I gonna do without my girlfriends?
"Thanks a lot guys." I pulled them into a group hug.
"You better hurry up let's go. You badly need to shower" Pam said holding her nose. I smacked her while Tania laughed like it was funny.
"Oh yeah girls, I'm not gonna be going back to school at London. Due to Rameek and I being so much in love, the distance is not needed. So I'm gonna transfer! Daddy agreed and my moms cool with it, so bitches I ain't going no where! " We were really happy. Tania had build this beautiful friendship with Pam and I and the fact that she's staying is super exciting.
At least a little good news today.