Heart beats

Chapter 13

*Luna*

"You should definitely get that dress"
"You think Xavier would like it?"
"Girl you know he won't be able to keep em hands off you"
Tania and Pamela were conversing and my mind wasn't there one bit.
Yesterday Jamari told me to take the day off. I don't know why but after that kiss, I guess he didn't wanna look at me. I feel so disappointed in myself for getting carried away. But he was just too fine. There I go again. Giving stupid excuses for my mistakes. Today he didn't even eat breakfast. Pamela and Tania came over and ate it all up. I feel very uneasy right now.
Honestly, I feel he takes me for some cheap hoe. Perhaps I'm over thinking the situation? Jamari is so bipolar, its hard to read him. So damn hard.
This morning, I tried to avoid him as much as possible. Nigga didn't even speak to me at all. Its a good thing I brought my baby Bentley over. He made me feel a little bit better being around Jamari, before the girls came over. But why didn't he talk to me tho, for real. He didn't seem to be avoiding me cos he acted normal. He wasn't nervous like I was, he just kept a straight unreadable expression throughout. Weird.
The fact that he didn't wanna have breakfast got me thinking. I think I've ruined the professional relationship we shared. But it wasn't all my fault. He was the one who decided we go bike riding together. Then he kissed me. I didn't do anything right? Uhm apart from giving into the kiss. Ughh, my whole mind is fucked up.
"Luna! "
"Huh!? "
I was forcefully snapped out of my thoughts when Pam an Tania yelled my name at the same time.
"Girl, you've cut that apple to pieces "
On hearing Tania's statement, I looked down at the chop board. I was cutting some apples up, but now I had over cut it to baby friendly sizes. Like toothless baby friendly sizes. It looked disgusting.
"Oh uhm. Don't mind my blind ass"
I tried waving off the fact that I wasn't in a right state of mind.
"Mmhm " Pamela hummed knowingly. I hated the was she and Tania were starring hard at me right now.
"What? " I dragged. I don't wanna answer any of their questions right now.
"Lu, you were deep in your damn thoughts. Why is that? " Tania rose and eyebrow at me. I was really trying right now to avoid all forms of eye contact.
"Whenever Luna does this, she's hiding something" Pamela's big mouth blurted out.
"Its nothing. I was tryna think of what to cook for Jamari's lunch." I was horrible at lying to get out of trouble. I hope they fell for that.
"I ain't fall for that lie bitch. You better start talking."
I rolled my eyes at Pamela. Why did she have to be so annoying now.
"Do you have a secret boyfriend that you don't wanna tell us about?" I looked at Tania like she was crazy.
"Hell no"
"Are you secretly a mad person " Now Pamela had to be stupid.
"For God's sake, no"
"Are you a lesbian and you're too shy to tell us"
"I'm straight Tania"
"Are you having secret affairs with the man of this house" Tania wiggled her eyebrows at me. I held my breath taken aback by her question. I realized my cheeks had failed me, cos now I was blushing and the girls began to think that was a yes.
"Oh my God! You had sex with Jamari?!"
"No!" I quickly switched into defensive mode.
"Then spill! " they seemed to be excited about this situation.
"Ughh, fine. The day before yesterday, after dinner Jamari insisted we rode bikes down the street, we had a minor accident and his wrist got sprained...the thing is we uhm...after...uhm when we came back...I had to kinda nurse his wrist, you know I couldn't be that heartless and leave him like that. You know that's not how I am, I'm a caring per-"
"You better get to the point" Tania seemed to be tired of my rant. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to blurt it out.
"We kissed" I closed my eyes not ready to see their reactions. I could hear them gasp. I'm so fucked up.
"Omg. I knew you guys couldn't keep up with this charade of not being attracted to each other. Oh gosh yes! Finally! Aww don't worry Lu we are so happy for you. You guys make a very cute couple! "
I immediately open my eyes after Tania's 'congratulatory speech'.
"No no no, it was only a kiss. We are not together" I tried explaining.
"Sooner or later you both are gonna be madly in love with each other! " Pamela smiled excited about the whole thing.
"You guys don't get i-"
"Is he a good kisser? "
"Of course my brother kisses like death itself. He takes your soul outta your body, right Luna? "
"Exactly " I bit on my bottom lip as I recalled the happenings of that night. Jesus save my soul.
Tania and Pamela's obnoxious laughter made me realize what I had just done.
"You have been charmed sister, better believe it" Pamela winked at me as Tania kept on laughing. None of this was funny.
"Nothing charmed me. Its not even like that. Jamari didn't even talk to me this morning. Let's not even ignore the fact that he told me not to show up yesterday. He regrets kissing me, now it got me thinking all type of things. His emotions today were so unreadable" I sighed. This while thing got me so bothered for no damn reason.
"Aww babe, he's probably still tryna process-"
"No." Tanai cut in gaining Pamela and I's attention.
"Actually guys, today is Jamari's birthday. That's how he acts on his birthday. Its a tough day for him. Over the years, he just grows more cold. He hates his birthday. I've learnt to be there for him somehow, although it could get really hard when he shuts me out. I don't think its you that's making him act this way Luna. It's just today"
Tania's voice was rather sad as she spoke. I was shocked. How could I not love my birthday? That just sounds absurd.
"Okay I'm confused. Why is it such a bad day for him? " Pamela beat me to asking the question.
"Well, I shouldn't be spilling all of Jamari's business so y'all should pretend like you know nothing " we nodded giving her the go ahead to spill it.
"Jamari never knew his mom. She passed after giving birth to him. So this day is a reminder to him that he never got to see his mom. He doesn't have a relationship with our dad because dad for some lame as reason, detested Jamari for his mothers passing. Alright that's enough of Jamari's business. I don't want him coming for me."