A/N I wrote this to be a prequel to Scars. In that one-shot Sherlock talks about a drunken kiss shared between him and John. This is that kiss. Enjoy! Edited 01/04/16
"Have a good year everyone!" I smiled after Lestrade and Molly as they made their way out of the flat. John had insisted that we invite them for a New Year's party. I hate parties. This one wouldn't have been that bad, if John hadn't started drinking. He had been drinking before the guests arrived and continued straight through the party. I walked into the kitchen and noticed Mrs. Hudson standing in front of the sink, starting to run the dish water. I pulled the sponge from her hands and push her towards the door, promising to do the dishes in the morning. She hugged me and wished me a happy new year. Once she was gone I made my way to the sitting room. I had to deal with a very intoxicated John.
I don't like drunken John. He hits on everything with two legs and a heartbeat, especially if that thing is an attractive female. I don't like it when John flirts with women. He is so charming and attractive; he can have almost anyone drooling like an idiot in seconds.
I hate how jealous he makes me when he flirts. I'm supposed to be a sociopath. Not some lovesick teenager.
"Sherlock," I heard John slur. I looked towards the sound of his voice. He was slouched in his chair, a glass of wine in his hand. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was mussed.
He looked so attractive.
"Do you know why Jeanette broke up with me Sherlock?" Oh god here we go again.
"No John. Why did she break up with you?" He never shared this with me before. I had assumed it was because he had failed to preform sexually. I don't really think he can't perform, he certainly has no issues in some of my fantasies, but that is the only logical reason that anyone would leave such a perfect human.
"Because," he stood, wavering slightly, "she thought I was spending too much time with you." What? I was the reason she left him?
"In fact, she even called you my boyfriend." He stumbled closer to me, nearly falling before I caught him. He was so close to me, I could smell the booze on his breath. I held him up, ensuring he wouldn't fall. "Are you my boyfriend Sherlock?" His voice dropped to a whisper. My mouth went dry. I wanted more than anything to say yes. But John is straight. At least he firmly believes so.
"John-" He cut me off by placing a finger to my lips.
"It's almost midnight Sherlock." That was true. Everyone had left early because John was making them uncomfortable.
I nodded, his finger still covering my lips. The timer we had set to notify us when the countdown began started to ring.
"10" John began counting.
"9" He stepped closer.
"8" I started to panic. This is wrong. He is too drunk.
"7" He gripped my waist so I couldn't run away.
"6" His hands are sliding up my back.
"5" one of his hands wraps around my neck.
"4" He pulls me close. I can smell the beer on his breath as it passes over me.
"3" I can't fight him anymore. I don't want to.
"2" Just kiss me already.
"1" He closes the gap and our lips connect. It's sloppy and smells of alcohol, but I am kissing John. It is perfect. The year is new and I am kissing the man I have loved for so long.
I realize that he won't remember this. The alcohol has limited his mental capacity, no longer allowing him to retain these memories. He would never speak to me again if he knew I had allowed him to kiss me when he was drunk. I pulled away, forcing John back as he tried to keep me close.
"John-" He cut me off again, this time with his lips. I forgot how strong he is. There was only one way I was getting him to bed. I leaned into the kiss and started to move. He let out a noise of pleasure as his hands started to roam. I wanted him so bad, to just take him into the bedroom and have my way with him. But that would ruin everything. I felt his fingers start to work at the buttons on my shirt. I had to get him to bed before things got too far. We made our way into my bedroom and I pushed him down onto the bed. He sat back up and reached for my belt, starting to unbuckle the leather strap. I pulled his hands away and pushed him back once more.
"Just give me a moment John. Get comfy, I will be back." I whispered. He nodded and started to climb under the covers. I left the room and closed the door behind me. I leaned against the door and held my head in my hands.
"You ok love?" I jumped at the soft that came from the kitchen. Mrs. Hudson stood there, a look of concern on her features. I nodded, not trusting my voice. She walked over to me and took me in her arms. I froze for a moment before allowing myself to melt into her arms. I felt the tears come full force. I cried into the older woman's shoulder. She made soothing shushing noises and rubbed my back.
"I'm not sure what all happened there, but even if he doesn't remember it, he knows how much you care for him. He will realize that he loves you eventually. I know it." She soothed. I nodded and gripped her tighter. She was right. He would figure it out soon. I just had to hold on until then.
s88)
