Brand New Life

Chapter 3: Shattered Mind

Bertholdt and Reiner

Bertholdt's POV

"Oi..." Reiner started to hit me while I stared at Annie. The guy that she picked up... Armin... he better stay away from her. Then, I felt a smack on my head. While rubbing the area where Reiner hit me, he stared at me with those intense eyes. "Bertholdt, get a hold of yourself! What's wrong with you?"

"Uh... nothing..."

I started to write down our homework assignments in my planner, ignoring everything but the thought about Armin trying to steal Annie away. Annie's mine...

*   *   *

After class was ended, it was an off period for me and Reiner. Annie walked off with Armin... she had social studies next... shaking it off, Reiner and I walked over to the library to get some peace and quiet, unlike the cafeteria.

Quickly, I reserved a seat in the corner, far from any of the staff members. While Reiner was getting some of his books out to read, I stared at my phone, staring at the text icon... debating if I should text Annie... to ask if everything was alright.

Before I made a decision, I felt a pain on my left cheek. Snapping out of my yandere trance, I looked at Reiner, who was crossing his arms and staring at me intensely. "What?" I quietly shouted. "What was that for?"

"Easy to explain the why, Bert. Tell me, ever since we met that Armin kid, you've been more... introverted than usual."

"Reiner, I'm always a huge introvert when we're in school! And besides, Armin isn't a problem... not to me."

He sighed, "Bert, I'll be honest, okay? Armin seems like a pretty cool kid, I mean it. Compared to you, he's harmless. Let him hang out with Annie. She seems cool with it-"

"It's a facade, Reiner. I'm worried for Annie... she should stay away from him."

He chuckles, seeing through my words. "Oh... I see..."

Feeling my face becoming more flustered, I tried to stop him from embarrassing me even more. "R-Reiner-"

"You got a crush on her..." He says in a sing-song.

"Come on, tell me you don't have a crush on a girl- oh, that's right, Krista! I seen you staring at her during science class."

He laughs, blushing just a bit. I had an advantage over him... hopefully we can end it here. "Me and her? What's your problem? She's a lesbian... I know that..."

"Eh?"

Reiner sighed, twitching with his fingers as he leaned forward. "Bert, I'm serious when I say this, okay? We've been friends for... what? 5 years? I trust you with this secret, okay?"

"Whatever you say, Reiner."

He took a deep breath, "Dude, I don't even like girls." 

His statement changed my whole perspective on him. This whole time, I seen him flirt with other girls... yet he never actually dated one. I mean, they never did accept his flirts... "So... you like guys? Then why-"

"Why flirt with girls if I don't like them? Easy again, I wanna fit in. I don't fit in here... flirting with guys usually isn't my thing... but I do like guys. What about you?"

"Me? Reiner, I like Annie. See that? I'm straight."

With an eyebrow raised, he stared at me with doubts. "Tell me this, and answer this honestly, got it?"

"Understood."

Once more, he took a deep breath, slowly releasing it. "What are your true feelings about Annie?"

Biting the inside of my lip, I searched for a good reason... but I had none. Her looks had nothing to do with my feelings... she doesn't even care about me, only herself. I have to admit... she does scare me... but nothing spoke out to me. Nothing told me why I liked her... why?

Reiner seemed to understand. He nods as he realized that I have nothing to say. "It's completely normal, Bert. I had the same reaction to that as well. Remember Mina?" I nod to agree with him, not uttering another word. "Well, I thought I liked her as well... but when it was time for me to confess, I couldn't say anything. Nothing about her looks or why I fell for her... nothing. Had a good, long talk with my mom, and she said that I probably was gay. Now... it's truly confirmed, I am gay..."

How could he be gay? It was unusual for him to admit something that doesn't fit right with him... lying was a problem for Reiner... couldn't keep the secret... since he was keeping a straight face, well... I had to believe him. Reiner... why hide this from me for 5 years?

"Bertholdt, trust me when I say this, okay? Maybe... maybe you aren't straight..."

"You're wrong, I love Annie..."

"Love what?" He groans, packing his stuff up. "I'm heading to the cafeteria, okay?"

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? Getting a snack, want something?"

"No... we're not allowed to have food here-"

"They won't know a thing if we're quiet, Bert." As usual, he smirked and started to walk off. Whenever he tries to be sly, he always smirked, no matter what. "Think about what I said, Bert, okay? When I come back, tell me if you still love Annie."

He walks away and I did exactly what he told me to... thinking about what he truly said. Could I be gay- no, no, there's no way... Annie's my life... she has to be... but what Reiner said... could he be right? Shaking my head... broken... a single sentence can shatter your mind... his words echoed... one question still remained. "Is Reiner right about me?"

*   *   *

Reiner's POV

"One cinnamon bun please." I asked the lunch lady as I stood in line.

She acknowledges me and starts getting it to me. Thinking about Bertholdt, was he thinking about it or was he pushing it off the edge? Sometimes, I worry about that kid... so quiet and he relies on me so many times...

"Here's your cinnamon bun." The lunch lady hands me the food, and I thanked her.

Slowly walking up to the library, I ate it, hungrily. Ever since he relied on me so many times, I think I grown feelings for him... yet it felt so wrong. The concept of him with Annie, tugged at my heart... but that's when I saw it.

Bertholdt stares at her, but he never compliments her looks or how good her form looked as she practiced. Kept saying he loved her... for 5 years... but never took action. Just like Mina for me... that's why I questioned him about Annie. To be fair and honest... I don't think he likes her... only did it because it felt natural for him to fall for girls and not guys.

*   *   *

Returning to the library, Bertholdt was still sitting there, staring blankly into his book. Never noticing me sitting there. Even if I cleared my throat, he never saw me.

"Bertholdt." I say, shaking him out of his trance.

"Hm?" He looks up, and then his eyes were blank, shattered into pieces. Did I break him?

"Did you think about what I said?"

"Yeah..." He puts his book down. "Reiner... I don't know who I am anymore... if I don't like Annie... who do I like?" Maybe this is my chance to flirt carefully at him... just maybe.