Hate That I Love You (Book3) COMPLETED

•HATE THAT I LOVE YOU 19•

"Hello?" I asked sleepily.

"Mr. Carter?" I heard an unfamiliar voice ask.

I looked confused and pulled my phone away from my ear noticing it was Beyoncé's cellphone, "Bey?" I asked confused.

"I'm afraid not. I'm Sanaa, Mrs. Carter's assistant, she fell and passed out, as of now she is unconscious. I'm taking her to the hospital she told me to call you as soon as she was about to pass out," The girl explained.

"Oh shit, What hospital? I have to pick up the kids and-"

"Don't worry I took care of it. I called Mrs. Carter's friend um Nicki yeah, and she picked them up. We're at the Central Tree Hospital," she explained.

"Thank you so much! I'm on my way,"
I Said quickly putting my shoes on.

I ran to my car and quickly drove off calling Nicki on the process, "Hey," she answered.

"Hey, Nic, do you have the kids?" I asked.

"Yeah, why do you want me to drop them off at your place?" She asked.

"Um no I was actually going to ask you if you could watch them while I go check on Bey," I said.

"Oh yeah for sure, keep me posted!"

"Will do. Bye, I'm pulling up now," I said quickly.

"Bye," we both hung up and I quickly ran inside.

"Hello how can I help you?" A lady sitting at the front desk asked.

"My wife, um Beyoncé Carter, age 25, she was just brought in, she fell and passed out or something. Is she okay, can I see her?" I asked.

"I can't give out that information, sir," the lady said shaking her head.

"What!? I'm her husband! She's pregnant! I need to see her!" I yelled getting aggravated.

"Sir, do I have to call security?"

"You know what-"

"Mr. Carter," I heard and turned around, "Hi, I'm Sanaa we spoke on the phone," she said shaking my hand.

"How is she?" I asked taking a deep breath.

"Follow me, I'll take you to her," we then walked down to the elevator and went up to the second floor.

"Over here," she said opening the door. I immediately walked in and saw Beyoncé laying on the hospital bed unconscious with an iv hooked up on her right arm.

"Can I have a few minutes with her?" I asked quietly.

"Actually I was supposed to just bring her here. I should get back to the office if I want both Mrs. Carter and I to keep our jobs."

"Still thank you, Sanaa was it?" I asked.

"Yes, but it was nothing really, tell her to call me once she is okay," she said before leaving.

I nodded and she left closing the door behind her. I sighed and sat down on the chair by Beyoncé's bedside. "We've been in this hospital one too many times.. and still it's not because you are giving birth," I said as a tear fell down my cheek.

"I fucked up. Bey, I fucked up. I ruined your life. I took you away from your dad, I put you in danger back to that first moment where I took you to Chris's party. I killed my fucking best friend by accident. I proposed to you and got you pregnant before you could even really live your life. I took away your freedom by chaining you to be my wife. Not only that but I ruined our marriage because of my sick addiction to my father's death," I said and as of now I was full out crying.

"In my eyes for some weird reason when I put a killer away I am preventing someone like my father from being killed and I couldn't look at the hints you left me. Time and time again you told me I had to let that case go if I didn't want to lose you and our kids but no, I didn't listen, I put my hands on you and ruined our marriage. You won't talk to me, our kids won't talk to me, so yeah my life is shit right now. You know what the worst part is?" I asked her as I looked at her resting face.

"The worst part is that the only reason why I'm telling you all this now is because you are unconscious and it's the only way you'll listen and the only way I'll have the courage to even look at you. So once and for all I will tell you that I love you and our kids.. all of them, more than anything in the world. I'm sorry," I said as I wiped my eyes.

For the following hours I just held her hand and continuously kissed it while saying I was sorry. My phone began to ring and I saw it was Nicki calling.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Daddy! Where is mommy? We want to go home," Blue said sounding worried.

"Umm mommy is at the hospital right now but let me talk to Nicki for a second," I said after sighing.

"Hello? Is everything alright?" I heard Nicki ask after some fumbling with the phone.

"Um not really. She hasn't woken up yet. Do you want me to keep the kids or something? I don't know how long she'll be here.." I told Nicki.

"I don't have a problem keeping them really," Nicki said.

"No, you know what I'll just keep them for tonight, it's been a long time since I've seen them anyway," I said sighing.

"Ok I'll pack their things so you can come pick them up," Nicki agreed. We both hung up and I began to grab my things.

I turned around and looked at Bey, "I'll be back tomorrow, love you," I kissed both her forehead and growing stomach.

~~~~~~~~~

"Daddy! I'm so glad you are back I missed you so much!" Blue said hugging me.

"I know baby but I'm sure mommy told you why she left," I said.

"Yeah.. you did something bad to her so she left with my brothers," Blue said nodding.

"Daddy whewe's mommy?" Ansel asked quietly.

"Um... she was at work today and something happened and she fell and got an ouchey on her head," I explained.

"Is she okay?" Blue asked tearing up, "I don't want anything bad to happen to her or the baby," she said as her voice cracked.

"She is okay. She is just sleeping so she can come back home," I explained.

"Is home our house or the apartment?" Ansel asked curious.

"I don't know, bud. There's things that not even daddy knows," I said sighing.

"Oh alright. Can we eat? I'm hungry," Blue said as she rubbed her belly.

"Sure, I have some pizza, is that good with y'all?"

"Pizza!" They both yelled.

~~~~~

After the kids finished their food I helped them with their pajamas and teeth. Afterwards I tucked them in and went into my room, locking the door.

"You sure are stupid, Shawn. You've really done it once again," I heard as I closed my eyes. Tears fell down my cheeks as I listened to this demon, this voice talk into my ear.

"All roads lead back to you. You ruin and break everything you touch. You're no good," It said.

I cried as I went into the bathroom and did what I've been doing almost every night. I grabbed the razor on the sink and cried as the metal cut the skin on my wrist. The blood dripped on the bathroom floor as I cried.

"You are a disgrace, Shawn! You broke everything you stand for! You ruined your own life!" I heard over and over. I don't know how long it will be until I snap...