•I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU 15•

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"Mommy?" I heard through my sleep.

"Hmmm?" I asked reaching over and turning on the lamp that was on the bedside table.

"When are we going to see daddy?" I heard Blue ask.

"Baby.." I took a breathe and kissed her head. I looked down at my bruised arm and then back at her.

"You can't tell anyone what I'm about to say okay?"

She nodded and sat next to me in the bed. We moved to a small two bedroom apartment a week ago. We haven't been home for about seven weeks. So I understand why she wants to see her father.

"Well you see my arm.. daddy accidentally did this and mommy left him, you know why?" I asked Blue and she shook her head.

"Well boys aren't supposed to hurt girls but also mommy found out she is pregnant so she couldn't stay at home," I told her slowly.

"What is pregnant, mommy?"

"It means she has a baby in her tummy, you remember when we told you about Ansel?"

"Yeah, you said you had a baby in your tummy and I was going to have a brother or sister," Blue nodded, "Am I going to have another sister or brother?"

"Yes baby. You are so smart. I need you and Ansel to behave so it is easy for us okay?"

She nodded and hugged me, "Mommy I miss daddy."

I sighed and wiped her tears, "I do too but he has to be better so we can go back home."

"Okay. Mommy I can't sleep, can you sing to me?" She asked looking up at me.

I nodded and laid her next to me, "Cold enough to chill my bones
It feels like I don't know you anymore
I don't understand why you're so cold to me
With every breath you breathe
I see there's something going on
I don't understand why you're so cold..." I sang and soon enough she was knocked out next to me.

I sighed and rubbed my stomach I am now four months along. I can't understand how I didn't find out sooner.. I laid back down and drifted off to sleep.

It seemed like as soon as I closed my eyes my alarm rang. I groaned and turned over to turn it off.

I stood up and went to take a quick shower. Once I was ready I gave the kids a quick shower and got the ready.

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