𝐈'𝐝 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞

𝑓 𝑜 𝑟 𝑡 𝑦 𝑛 𝑖 𝑛 𝑒

Cassandra's Pov
November 30th 2021

"How’s the chicken?” Tom asks hesitantly from his spot across the table. 

I glanced up at him, and looked back down at my plate, taking a small bite of the grilled chicken breast in the process. It was dry, unseasoned, and overcooked. He made peas and mashed potatoes too. I didn’t like any of it. Hell, I don’t even like this atmosphere. I really ain’t even wanna come here. But Momma and I had this agreement that she wouldn’t drink for the next two nights if I sat down with them for dinner. So I came and sat down for dinner. As terrible as she is, she’s my Momma and I really don’t wanna see a story on the six o’clock news with her being found in a trailer and dead from alcohol poisoning. “It’s okay,” I shrugged.

“Well, I, uh, worked hard on it.” He nodded, and Momma smiled. “I love it. It’s always the effort that counts. We really appreciate this.” She took his hand and her own and I felt myself fight the urge to throw up on the floor. This whole thing is unsettling. 

My Dad most definitely feels betrayed and I know that because he made sure I knew how he felt when I left out the door. He was all like ‘first my wife and now you too?’. His brother’s friend literally tried to rape me and he didn’t even bat an eye. He picks and chooses what he wants to be concerned about. Like, for the last week I haven’t been able to sleep in my bed because of what happened and I know he knows that because he peeks in my room every night to see if I’m asleep. He saw me asleep on that floor and he ain’t say shit. 

With my latest check I made sure to pay the light bill, the gas bill, the water bill, and I put some money down on the mortgage. Nobody acknowledged that either.  I was broke afterwards but it beats being homeless and walking the streets.  

“Tom’s house is nice,” Momma comments, after a moment of silence has passed.

It’s a studio apartment but it’s becoming increasingly obvious she not finna stop hyping him up like this.

“Cassie, your Mom tells me you’re into women. This is around the time women either grow out of this phase or start to explore it in college. But, if what your Mom tells me about your grades is true you probably won't step foot in a dorm room. Lucky for you, I have a nephew who's around your age and-”

“Fuck you.” Cutting him off, I get up from my chair and snatch my jacket from off the back of it. That was such a Hailey thing to say but when dealing with people like Tom you really need to channel all the Hailey energy you have in you. 

“You owe Tom an apology before walking out of his house!” Momma calls loudly after me as I reach the front door. But I just ignore her and just leave the studio all together. 

I walk down what few steps there are that lead me out of the out house and I open the door only to be met with pouring rain. I know for a fact I’m not going back in there so I just flip my hood on and walk quickly.

Momma would ask me to apologize to somebody like that, wouldn't she? I didn't get to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, or take part in the pre homecoming we had at the school. My money gets spent on things she's supposed to be responsible for. Nobody apologized for that.

I never get a 'Oh, sweetie... I'm so sorry that I'm an alcoholic and you spend all your hard earned money on a grown woman's mortgage. I'm also really sorry that I'm at fault for you having to grow up faster than you needed to, with me actively being the cause of you having no fun in your teenage years, but here's my new boyfriend. Eat his dry ass chicken and suck up to him while I make conversation.'

It's all just a mess honestly.

After ten minutes of walking, I’m fully drenched and the rain along with wind has gotten heavier and stronger.

This damn wind. I can literally feel myself catching pneumonia by the second.

There ain’t nothing I want more in the world than to be snuggled up in one of Hailey’s hoodies and watching a good ass episode of She-Ra right now. Maybe I’d even order some chinese food. Sadly that’s in some type of perfect world. I have almost forty more minutes of walking to do, I’m broke, and I haven’t actually heard from Hailey in weeks.

I mean, I do talk to her but not as much. I’m usually the one who texts first and I receive a lot of short and dry responses back on her end so at a lot of points I wonder why I even bother.

Is long distance supposed to feel like this? 

Alaska constantly throws a lot of scenarios out there (95% of them about cheating) but I refuse to believe any of that shit. I also be having to refuse the urge to hit her upside the head when she starts talking that mess. 

Hailey’s actually to be performing at some small venues in Louisiana but I saw her at a party on somebody's story reposted by a fan page with the tagged location ‘Las Vegas’ so who even knows at this point. It honestly didn’t look like she wanted to be there but Hailey has started to show less and less emotion so it’s hard to tell with her at times. 

I cringed as every step I took constantly drenched my socks in rain water. Just trifling. This rain got the audacity. This wind, the weather over all, and I’m just so done. 

The sound of a humming engine overpowering the sound of the rain startled me out of my thoughts. The speed of my walking increased as a black darkly tinted Lexus SUV pulled over next to me. 

“You probably cold as fuck right now, bae” 

The voice made me pause in my tracks and as I whipped around to catch a look at the girl I felt my heartbeat get faster. 

“Hailey...”