𝐈'𝐝 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞

𝒕 𝒘 𝒆 𝒏 𝒕 𝒚 𝒆 𝒊 𝒈 𝒉 𝒕

chapter twenty eight

Cassandra's pov

I'm gonna rate my first plane experience a seven point five out of a ten. It's a little quiet, but I can hear some conversation from the economy class cabin. I saw a white lady give me a look when I sat down. The old bitch was just mad because she didn't have my seat, and that wasn't my problem, get up with me, hoe. Anyway, it's a little boring cause I can't really occupy myself with my phone. I also don't have no one to talk to. At least my seat is nice and comfy, I have this entire area to myself. I thought if I were to ever be on a plane, I would be stuck sitting near a crying child, or a guy who can't comprehend personal space. I didn't want to be fighting with someone about a skinny ass arm rest. I ain't been having my usual patience these days. Maybe I'll be a little more relaxed when I go on this vacation.

I'm halfway threw 'John Tucker Must Die'. It's playing on the tiny movie screen in front of me. I feel a little sleepy, and I'm a little hungry too. I heard airplane food was disgusting but dang, I don't wanna die of starvation. "Excuse me?" I stopped one of the flight attendants. "Aren't we supposed to have some type of dinner or some type of lunch? I'm a little hungry."

"Oh, my! Lunch was sent out a few moments ago. We might have missed you. No worries, I'll get you your food right away." She apologized and scurried off to the back of the plane.

Dang, how they miss me? Was I sleep or something?

The flight attendance was back a few minutes later.

She placed a plate of steaming food in front of me, and a glass of what looked like ginger ale, just as some cake fight scene started in the movie. "Again, so sorry about the late food arrival. Make sure to eat up, we'll be landing shortly."

"Right, thanks," I mumbled picking at my dry looking salad. She walked away and I was left with food and my thoughts. I had eventually got the courage to take a bite of the salad and I immediately spit it out. A man looked over at me with a glare. "Stop acting like this ain't the nasty food you ever ate, and get outta my face." I told him harshly. His face went red and the man turned his attention back onto whatever magazine he was reading.

The movie went on and I just ended up sipping on the ginger ale and nibbling at the chocolate cake they gave me. I didn't touch the salad, the chicken breast, or the mashed potatoes. A while after that I felt my eyes get heavy. Without nothing to do, or anyone to talk to plane rides felt neverending. Maybe that was just me though. My friends would have made it fun. I miss them, and I haven't been gone for twenty-four hours. When I left O'Sean was visiting his brother in the suburbs, Chris was at work for overtime, and Alaska was 'getting some dick' according to Asia. That meant she most likely got back with Johnny Brick, unless she got with La'Vell   instead. But let me not think on that and just mine my business. I ain't even got no business, my stuff include sexual assault and working forty five hours a week.

I'm mostly trying move past that sexual assault part though. Once I do hopefully I can just forget about it altogether. I act like it's not effecting me but I haven't got some real sleep since it happened. I just act like I did so nobody get worried. Mom be trying to bring it up, but I just shrug her off. I don't really even like talking about it.

It makes me feel messed up.

The more messed up I feel, the more things that are so messed up about me come to the light. I forcibly pick that messed up stuff because my dumb brain keeps trying to convince myself that Brian can't just be a sexual predator. That he went after me for an exact reason.

And that reason was my fault.

Whether it could be the way I walk, the walk I talk, the way I breathe, maybe it's because I wore those shirts after he showed interest in them. That's why I don't like talking about it, or even thinking about it for that matter. Two seconds later I'll be on a downard spiral having an existential crisis, pulling on my hair, crying on the bathroom floor, trying to make sense of why a older man tried to make me a victim of rape. I don't wanna lose my mind and I'm not gonna put myself threw that.