All for a reason

Chapter 27 : It was going to be the new number 1

Sorry it is so late. I had writers block and then I was ill but on other news, it's Christmas Eve eve.
Enjoy this chapter!
Zoe.

Chapter 27 : It was going to be the new number 1

Faking the biggest smile I could , I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Everybody looked up but Hayden, continuing to play on his phone.

"Broooke," Robyn squealed in delight, dragging my name out. She jumbled up on her bed and was about to launch for me before Toby grabbed her leg and pulled it out from under her. She giggled as she bounced on the bed.

"Stay in the bed, Robyn, otherwise the tickle monster will get you," Toby scolded her, tickling her until she was red in the face and had tears falling out of her eyes. I smiled at their playfulness. It was heart breaking really, the fact that Robyn was ill and probably had a time limit on her life. That Toby would never get to see her first boyfriend and see her walk down the aisle or console her after her first heartbreak. But she was such an inspiration - always smiling and laughing, she made it easier for everyone.

She was strong for everyone.

I sat down on the foot of her bed. I'd received a phone call from Toby this morning telling me that everyone was going to spend a day with Robyn. To say I had been disappointed when the phone rang and it wasn't Hayden would be an understatement yet I was happy to spend the day here, Robyn was my little best friend.

"You're looking very radiant today, Brooke," Mason told me, secretly looking over towards Hayden. He'd been doing this a lot recently, trying to get a rise out of Hayden by complimenting me - it usually worked but not today. Hayden just stared out of the window. Mason frowned but didn't push it.

"Well I am made up of 70% water," I laughed trying to break the ice that had settled over the room. Elliott looked between Hayden and I worriedly but nobody said anything.

I don't know what I did wrong.

The rest of the day passed smoothly - no more silences. Robyn filled the gaps with laughter and chatter, we played games, watched films and annoyed the nurses. Hayden participated but ignored me.

I really needed to stop thinking about him.

By the time lunch rolled around, everyone but Robyn had figured out that something was wrong between Hayden and I.

"Hey nurse," the nurse looked to Toby just as she walked in the room.

"Yes?"

"Can we take Robyn to the cafeteria to get some food?" Robyn looked up hopefully to the nurse.

She sighed, "okay." When Robyn was settled in a wheelchair with her IV line, the nurse left.

"Let's go!" Aaron cried in joy, "food, food food, food foody food." I laughed at his childishness.

"But what if someone steals my Snow White DVD whilst I'm gone," Robyn pouted.

"Don't you worry, Hayden and Brooke are going to look after it," Elliott confirmed, "we're going to get them some food and bring it back."
"Thank you, Brooke, Haydey," Robyn gave us a toothy grin.

The sort of grin you couldn't say no to.

I knew exactly what they were trying to do.

As they left the room I looked to Mason, sending him a silent plea, the only thing he did was smirk and mouth talk at me before he was out the door and singing along with Aaron's food song.

It was going to be the new number 1.

Hayden shuffled around for a bit, completely ignoring me and finding someone fascinating to text to on his phone. After a couple of minutes when I realised he wasn't going to speak first, I swallowed my fear and began to speak.

"Why did you leave?"

My voice sounded croaky and insecure. Really insecure. I had a drink of water as if it would wash away the insecurity. I didn't want to be dependent on him. I looked up at him waiting for him to speak but he was staring at me, watching my every move. Like the secret glances he gave me since I had arrived in this state.

Looks of love as my mum had named them.

"Brooke-"

"No, you left."

"I needed time," he spoke quietly.

Then it hit me. He needed time because it was my fault. My fault my best friend was dead. How can he know I'll always be there for him if I couldn't even be there for my best friend? The tears began flowing and I mentally cursed at myself because that's all I had been doing these past few days.

Screw what I said about being 70% water, I was only made from 50% water after all the crying I had done.

"I know, I know it's my fault, okay and I'm sorry."

In a flash, Hayden was kneeling in front of me, my face held in his hands.

"No, baby it's not your fault so don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. It's no ones fault," he stared deeply into my eyes as he spoke, those piercing blue eyes which looked like they could see through to your soul.

"Then why did you need time?" I whispered. Just as fast as he'd appeared he was gone again, up on his feet, pacing around the room.

"We agreed no more secrets, that's a big secret Brooke, I don't know what you could be hiding, you could be sleeping with Toby for all I know."

Anger ran through my veins at the sound of him doubting my loyalty for him. The sensible part of me knew what he was saying was true - he didn't know what I was doing behind his back, his trust for me had been broken just because of one secret. But the irrational part of me was screaming at him. Screaming at him for suggesting that I would cheat on him, with his best friend of all people. Screaming at him because I wonder sometimes whether he's loyal to me.

We were a relationship lacking in trust.

"You know I'd never do that, Hayden, my last boyfriend cheated on me, I know what it feels like," my voice rose as I spoke.

"I don't feel like I can trust you anymore," Hayden shouted. I sank down onto the bed from where I'd stood up sometime in my rage.

"How do I know you're not sleeping with other girls, how can I trust you?" I retorted. This was the moment. The moment I had desperately tried to hide - the moment all my insecurities became as obvious as stars on a clear night.

"I love you, Brooke, I wouldn't do that to you," Hayden sighed, exasperated.

"And I love you, is that not enough?" I knew in my head that it wasn't enough, relationships needed trust.

"I just need time to think it through, okay?"

"I'm not like those other girls you've 'been' with, I'm faithful," and that's where our conversation ended as Elliott charged through the door his hands laden with food. Aaron pushed Robyn through the door next as they sang a song, as per usual.

"Toby and Imara sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G,
First comes lo-"

"If you two don't shut up right now, I'm going to tell Santa next Christmas that you shouldn't get any christmas presents," Toby warned defensively.

The scream that left Aaron's mouth made me laugh. He was so melodramatic.

"Who is Imara, Toby?" I asked, Toby had never mentioned an Imara.

"Don't you start as well," he warned.

"Imara is a girl he wouldn't stop staring at but refused to talk to, Robyn got her number for him," Mason explained.

"Wow, a hospital, a great place to start a relationship," Hayden spoke up, ending the conversation.

The rest of the day passed in a blur and by the time I had to leave, Robyn was fast asleep. Toby had offered to drive me home. He pressed a kiss to Robyn's head as he left the room.

As I fell asleep that night I thought of Hayden.

I was going to fight for him.