𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢

13.

𝘕𝘢𝘧𝘴𝘢

"Glad you decided to bring..." Mandy reached her hand out for my grandma Mae.

"Mae her grandmother."

"Great to see you, I don't want to hold neither you or Nafsa. How would you explain the relationship that you have with Nafsa?"

My grandma looked kinda shocked at the question before answering, "I would say our relationship is similar to a mother and daughter, were closer than any other of my grandchildren."

"Can you tell me why?"

"Her mother and father separated when she was seven during that there was a lot of fighting, I didn't want my grandchild raised in that environment so I kept her most of her life until I get sick."

Mandy nodded I watched her face knowing she was about to get real personal.

"I don't wanna get into why Nafsa is really here but want to focus on the before factors because that could contribute to some anger and depression as well." Mandy cleared her throat. "From my understanding, Nafsa never had a relationship with her father can you tell me why?"

"I don't wanna say he ran off by her mother, my daughter but he had a history of depression and anxiety. He moved to a different state to make him not relapse. I don't think this was a good idea but he did what he had to do."

"That's selfish," I commented looking at her. One thing I didn't know was my dad suffered from depression which would my clear factor on why I suffered from it. To not tell where I most likely got this from is selfish.

Mandy clapped her hand pointing at her book, "Nafsa your mother told you your father abandoned y'all because she had you, but this happened after?"

"Yes, I was always told he left when I was in the hospital." Looking at my grandma she didn't glance over at me.

"I'm just going to say this now so we can establish this Nafsa. The reason why you can't give in and trust men is because of your father you may not know this but I have the feeling when you were seven you felt that separation doesn't matter if you saw it or not."

"Do you know where he is now?" I asked my grandma really blocking everything out.

Mandy looked at me then my grandma before nodding at her. "Yes."

"And you never thought to share this with me?"

"I didn't believe it was my place, you never asked about him."

Sitting back staring at Mandy I was completely over this session.

【________】

𝗻𝗮𝗳𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗲  Even in the dark 🙌🏾 Book me!

Lean, pour it, lean, pour it
We got weed but we gon' need more
I got money, Biggie, D-Boy

Just a young nigga with no cosign
Yeah, my mama and my daddy, yeah, they both fine, uh
Grew up drug dealing, nigga, grew up drug dealing
Sellin' dubs, mostly fifties, we ain't got no dimes

Sitting in my tub I tried to relax my mind. When I started therapy it was situcly because my doctor made me go, I would say dry responses and not care. When Mandy started actually asking me things and digging deeper, unlocking answers I didn't know I had, it helped me become more stable. That was only me, now that the truth of why I hated men so much was uncovered it really shook me.

I wanted to believe that he was dead so that's why he didn't take the initiative to talk to me. I also wanted to believe that my mother wasn't sick in the head.

I was on the curb with that package, huh, came for these
If you tryna owe me, you can't have it, huh, best believe
Fish and codeine, that's the recipe, yes indeed

Ideas??