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ALL I DO. { irl }
niola felt horrible about making matt do most of the talking for their project. initially, they planned for niola to be the one to talk more — due to matt's social anxiety. but just walking from her desk to the front of the class made niola feel like she was on the verge of passing out.
truth is, niola hardly ever drinks. last night was the first time she's had any alcohol whatsoever in a whole year. she tends to decline drinks because she knows what being drunk can cause you to do.
she's watched her father struggle with his addiction all her life. so, naturally, niola isn't a huge fan of alcohol in general. in the past, she immediately stopped herself after getting a small buzz. she was afraid of becoming violent like her dad.
but the non-drinking switch in her mind must have been flipped off last night, because she got wasted (clearly).
to be frank, niola could hardly recall anything from the previous night. when she tries to remember what happened, she just gets blurry flashes of someone's face or the fuzzy sound of a voice.
due to the fact that she can't remember anything, niola is even more scared of what may have happened. she can't stop asking herself millions of questions. like, what if she did hurt someone and she just can't remember? what if she yelled at a friend of hers? what if she had taken out her anger on someone who didn't deserve it?
the only consolation niola has is the only vivid memory she can recollect from last night. and that's the memory of her spilling all of her family secrets to matt in the bathroom.
rather than a blurry and fuzzy memory, niola can remember the scene perfectly.
the bathroom was dimly lit by the dull, yellow light that loomed over the mirror above the sink. the tile floor was cold against niola's knees as she crouched before the toilet. the sound of laughing and shouting could be heard from down the hall as everyone else continued their truth-or-dare game.
but more than anything, niola remembers the feeling of matt holding her hair out of her face. his knuckles brushed the back of her neck, causing goosebumps to trickle down her spine.
niola's face still flushes at the memory of him seeing her in such a vulnerable situation.
something about the way he didn't try and take advantage of her makes niola trust matt. unlike her father, or amelia, or anyone else who entered her life, matt seems like he genuinely cares about niola — he doesn't jump at the opportunity to make her feel like shit.
this is why she's been so clingy all day. she feels like matt is the only person in her life that she can be relaxed around.
"thank you for the presentation, matthew." miss elsher says, snapping niola out of her trance. "miss silvers, is there anything you would like to add? if not, i'll have to take off points for lack of participation. and i really don't want to have yo do that."
