And Then There Was You (Chris Evans AU)

December: Christmas Break Part 1

~ italics represent flashbacks or memories.
~ bold represents lyrics

Daphne POV
  It's one of my favorite days of the school year: pajama day. Yes, pajama day. Comfortable pajamas, The Polar Express, homemade hot chocolate and a half day of school for the kids. What's even better than that? It's the start of Christmas break. 
  As much as I want to just roll out of bed and go to work I actually do change my pajamas so they don't look like I've slept in them. 

  I toss my hair up into a ponytail and apply a light layer of make up, just enough so the kids don't ask questions about my redness. I think back to the one day I didn't wear make up to work. 'Ms. Jeffries, what happened to your face,' the innocent child asked. It was then that I realized I couldn't trade my make up in for an extra fifteen minutes of sleep.
  Reaching my kitchen I double check to make sure I have all of the supplies for the homemade hot chocolate. I start to panic as I can't find my crockpot. I face palm myself as I remember Chris putting it in my car for me last night. Grabbing the rest of the supplies, along with my coffee, I head to my car.
  I go to set my coffee in the cup holder and see a CD with a note. 'Play Me' it says. Recognizing the handwriting I realize Chris did a little more last night than just loading the crock pot in the car for me.
  Getting situated, starting the car, I put the CD in the player and pull out of my driveway. The gentle start of Just the Way You Are begins to flood through my speakers.

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?"
I say

When I see your face (face, face...)
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile, smile...)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause, girl, you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
Yeah

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

  "If you could change something about the way I look, what would it be," I ask Chris nonchalantly. He looks at me like I've grown two heads.
  "No way, crazy lady," he quickly says. "I'm not playing this game."
  I sigh. "I'd change my thighs, they're much too big in comparison to the rest of my body. I'd get rid of the rosacea and acne that plagues my face. Probably change my arms, too skinny."
  I want to keep going but Chris grabs me to face him. He holds my face in the palms of his hands. "Stop."  I ignore him and try to continue this time bad mouthing my backside. "Stop." He says again. I can't look him in the eye as the constant belittlement of myself has thrown up a wall of insecurity right in front of him. "Look at me, Daphne. Hear me when I say this. You are gorgeous. Your arms, your face, your thighs and especially that glorious gluteus maximus. Which, side note, I'd like to grab but won't."  I can't help but give him a half cocked smile at his use of gluteus maximus and his admittance. "I'll tell you as much as I have to, but I love everything about you my crazy, beautiful girl."

  I continue my trek to work as the next song starts. Again its upbeat and makes me want to tap my toes. I roll my eyes as I realize it's She Don't Know She's Beautiful by Sammy Kershaw.

she don't know she's beautiful (never crossed her mind)
She don't know she's beautiful (no she's not that kind)
She don't know she's beautiful
Though time and time I've told her so

Morning comes and her hair's all a mess
That's when she thinks she looks her worst
It's times like this she don't know why
I can't take my eyes off her

  Desperately I wish I could see myself the way he sees me. At almost thirty years old I'm still holding onto childhood trauma caused by people's reckless words. 

  "We will definitely have to spend some time at the beach next summer," Chris informs me as we are riding home from the latest family dinner.
  "The beach at night is so peaceful, calming. I could go for some date nights at the beach."
  Chris shakes his head. "No, during the day. Go for a swim and get a little sun. Maybe have a picnic, make a day out of it."
  I shudder at the thought. I've not worn a bathing suit in years. "I'll go and watch you any time but you're not getting me in a bathing suit."
  "Why not, Daphne? After seeing those curves of yours on display at the wedding I've got to say I'm dreaming of seeing you in a swimsuit."
  "The last time I bought a bathing suit it looked like a grandma suit because of the skirt it had on it. Before that I would only wear ones with shorts."
  Chris gives me a look that screams confused.
I give in. "I went bathing suit shopping with my mom when I was eleven. I tried on the first one. I turned showing her the back and she said 'what in the world are those?' Come to find out they were stretch marks along the back of my thighs. I was growing so quickly that my skin couldn't keep up. After that day I only wore a bathing suit if I had no other choice and they had either shorts or a skirt to it." 
  Turning in his seat, he rests a hand on my lower thigh over my jeans. "Next summer I'm taking you bathing suit shopping. You can get a bikini or a one piece. Your choice. But there will be no shorts or skirt. And you and I will walk the beach, hand in hand, confidently. No more hiding, Daphne."

I pull into the parking lot. I'm much earlier than normal, only the third car in the whole lot. I knew I should've hit the snooze button but then I wouldn't be able to sit and listen a little longer to the sweetness prepared for me.
  I'm truly amazed by Chris. It's been almost four months and not once has he tried to push sex on me. Now, has he flirted? Yes. Have there been moments where I've wanted to throw it all out of the window because his kisses and gentle caresses make me weak in the knees? Yup. Have we had to pull away and cool down before hands begin to roam? Of course. Has he told me things about my body that make me blush and need a cold shower? Definitely. Has he helped me stand firm on my conviction? Emphatically yes. He tells me that in itself is sexy.  So we find intimacy through other things such as deep conversation, slow dancing and music. Music seems to be a constant for us. When we don't quite know how to put our feelings out into the open we find songs that do it for us.
As the third song begins I pull my phone out. Checking the time, I know Chris will be heading home soon after another night shift. I send a simple text telling him it is too early in the morning for tears. I follow it up with an I love you and a kiss 💋. All of Me by John Legend sings sweetly into my ears as I imagine Chris holding me.

Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginnin'
Even when I lose, I'm winnin'
 
  I rest my head on the back of my seat. The last four months feel like a dream. A wonderful, glorious dream I pray to never wake up from.  I'm finding myself coming closer to the understanding that length of time means nothing when you know who you want to spend all of your tomorrow's with. My phone interrupts my thoughts with a message from Chris.

Chris-I guess you found gift #1?

Daphne- gift #1? Christopher, what are you doing?

Chris- Christmas gift #1 my love 😉

Daphne- you spoil me.

Chris- we've been through this. Get use to it 😏 I'm picking you up at 7 tonight. Dress comfortable but warm. That's all the info you get so don't even ask.

Daphne- I'm giving you a glare even if you can't see it. 😑

Chris- have a great day babe. Just think, in a few hours you're off for two weeks.

Daphne- two weeks to spend as much time as possible with you. Can't wait. Love you.

Chris- love you more.