Chapter 23

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Amaya

I found myself looking at my phone hovering over Quincey's name. Ahmaud and I had just got into a confrontation when he came and picked up the babies over how I don't "allow him to take the kids for long periods of time." I wanted to assess the situation with him to see if I was wrong, but I couldn't.

"Ma i'm ready" Ajarie said walking into my room. We were finally going to start her registry since it has been two weeks since we last said we were going.

"Alright babygirl"

"Ma what's wrong?" she said coming to sit next to me on the bed.

"Nothing why?"

"You are crying" she said looking at me. I wiped my face and sure enough it was wet. I didn't even realize that I was crying. I didn't feel anything.

"Oh. It's nothing really. Let's go" I said standing up. I went down the stairs to the kitchen grabbing my keys and purse.

"Mama what is really wrong with you? You have been out of it for a couple weeks now. Tell me mom" she said following me to the car.

"I miss Quincey" I said getting into the car. She got in after me. "We had sex and it broke me. It changed the way I look at him because I liked it during the moments and a little after but it was a mistake Jarie. I really really wanted to build and grow and develop my relationship with Alonzo. I ruined my marriage with your dad by cheating and that's how I felt after I had sex with Quincey. I felt like I was cheating on Lonnie even though me and him were just talking for a minute. I hover over his name at least once a day because I am so used to just pressing his name and calling him when I wanna talk or when I need something" I said breaking down into tears.

"Call him mommy. Don't be like that" Ajarie said rubbing my arm.

"I can't. I'm with Alonzo. I can't mess up my relationship with him because I want to talk to my bestfriend"

"You can't ruin your friendship with your bestfriend who is also our god dad because of a man ma. You always told me to not let some boy come between me and Yas, and it has never happened. She dates my brother for heavens sake and I have no problem with it. She spends her time with me and she spends her time with him. You can do it mama. Have your bestfriend and have your man"

"I can't Monae" I said wiping my face and starting the car driving to Target first.

"Why?" she asked. I ignored her. "Mama why? Just call him" she said once again.

"No! That is the very end of the discussion" I said glancing at her. She was pouting typing on her phone.

Later That Night..

Ajarie, Yasmine, and I sat in the movie theatre watching What Men Want when my phone started ringing. I looked down and seen Quincey's name and froze up. Ajarie had to answer the facetime call while I figured out how to react.

"Mama go! You got this" she said holding my hand. I am a grown ass woman being comforted by my sixteen year old daughter.

I shook my head at the thought and stood up walking into the den. This is crazy. Talk.. Amaya.. Talk girl..

"Hey Babyma" he said after at least two minutes of pure silence.

"Hi.."

"You don't have to say anything, but let me talk" I nodded. "Girl I miss you. I miss talking to your goofy ass everyday. I miss hearing you yell at me for doing something to the kids. You my lifeline think you tryna kill me. See... I haven't talked to you and I have been listening to Beyonce" he said laughing slightly causing me to smile a little.

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