saudade | levi ackerman

not edited (old chapter)

"I'm so sorry Levi.." You apologised after hearing everything he said.

"Don't be an idiot, it was my fault, if I had made the right decision they would still be alive." Levi was standing opposite you.

"No..no! It wasn't your fault! Don't blame yourself!" You raised your voice. You remembered who you were talking to and that was your Corporal. You can't raise your voice to the Corporal! You mentally scolded yourself.

Levi stayed quiet for a moment. When you used to tag along with them you never really had a full conversation with Levi, if he ever spoke to you it was most likely to be:

"Tch, whatever."

"Tch, shut up."

"Brat."

"Idiot."

So having this conversation was quite awkward.. "It's late you should get some sleep." He finally spoke.

You stepped back from Levi. This was so much to take in. You turned around and walked out.

There are so many more questions you have to ask, not just about Isabel and Farlan but about Petra, I mean what was she doing throwing things in Levi's office?! And what did she mean by 'do you?'.

You were walking to your room when you also remembered something else. The ball?! I have to go with the Commander..

You walked into your room and looked outside the window, once again the sky was dark. Everything was quiet. You rested your head on your pillow and fell into a deep sleep.

Your eyes slowly opened. The sun didn't shine through the window, instead it was dark and cloudy. It was raining and you could hear it tap against the window. I suppose the bad weather kind of adds to your mood.

You herd a few knocks at your door. "Yes?" You asked waiting for a reply. "They sent me up here to tell you to come down" you herd Petra say, she didn't know that you herd what she said so her tone wasn't evil it was just normal.

"Thanks" you replied getting into a clean uniform and completing your daily routine. You walked down to where everyone was sat. Poor Eren had been sat there all night, listening to Hanji talk.

Where was Hanji? You sat down next to Eren. "You ok Eren?" You asked as you noticed the dark circles surrounding his eyes. "Yes..I'm fine" he said sleepily.

"The Titan that we managed to capture has been killed." Levi said as he sat at the far end of the table. "What?!" You said surprised and annoyed because of what you went through to get that damn Titan.

"Yes, I'm sorry ____, I know you were injured while we were capturing it" Hanji said, her eyes were red like she had been crying?

You looked down at the table. Your leg had healed up nicely. "It's important that I have other Titans to experiment on.. But the Commander has said it's too close to this Ball thing that's going on and that I might not be able to capture another one.." Hanji explained, her words sounding disappointed as she walked into the room.

"Which reminds me, ____ the Commander has said he will send someone to escort you to the building the Ball will take place in" Hanji said as everyone turned quiet.

Your face turned red. Now everyone knows! "Yes, thank you Hanji" you replied sounding a little annoyed.

Escort me?! Like a horse and carriage?! You thought. you were quite excited to be honest, as much as you didn't like the Commander in that way, it would be nice to be escorted places..

You could see Oluo laughing out the corner of your eye, probably at your bright red face. "The Ball will be tonight" Gunther said as he drank his tea.

You stared at Oluo trying to shut him up but it didn't work. You walked over to the tea and poured it into a teacup, with a load of sugar.

"So how come you are coming ____, if your allowed to go home?" Petra asked, her tone was fake.

You sat down before replying and sipped your tea. "I don't have anyone to visit" you stated blankly not wanting them to feel sympathy for you. Eld looked at you, "sorry for asking" he said covering for Petra.

"Don't be, this is my home" you replied smiling a bit. Hanji was quiet, it was strange not to see her talking..

She was looking down, that Titan must have meant a lot to her.. Whilst everyone was talking you walked over to Hanji.

"Hanji, are you ok?" You asked. "No..I'm not, that Titan..I don't know it was like my friend.." She started to explain. You raised your eyebrow.

How can a Titan be your friend? Especially when you experimented on it.

"I'm sure to the Commander will give you permission to go out to get another one.." You reassured her.

"That's the thing ____, I need your help" she whispered. "Ok.. But why are you whispering?" You whispered back.

"Because I don't want Levi to hear us" she explained still whispering. You looked around at Levi who was looking in your direction.

"Ok, can you please explain?" You and Hanji spoke in undertones.

"So you know how the Commander feels about you right?" Hanji murmurs. "No? What are you talking about?" You asked your whisper growing louder.

"The Commander has feeling for you ____" she finally explained. "What?!" Your voice was no longer a whisper and your blush that had disappeared once again covered your face.

"Shh! How could you not tell?" Hanji shushed you before continuing to whisper. "Well I just..I thought..I suppose now you mention it.. But how is this going to help you?" You said trying to get the right words out.

"I think we can use this as an advantage" she droned with that creepy smile plastered on her face.

"An advantage?" You asked having no clue what she was on about.

"Yes, if you can..get friendly with the Commander then maybe you could ask if it's ok for us to capture another Titan" she nudged you.

"Are you crazy?!" You literally shouted.

What am I saying? Of cause she's crazy, I should have expected that..

"Please ____, it would help me so much!" She whined.

You couldn't stand her whining. So you soon gave in.

"Hanji, if I say yes, will you shut up?" You asked looking at her.

"Yahoo!" She shouted as she shoved her fist in the air.

Everyone averted their eyes to you and Hanji.

"What are you doing?" Oluo asked as Hanji still had her fist in the air with a massive ear to ear smile.

"Come on ____, we need to make a plan!" Hanji said as she grabbed your wrist, pulling you out into the hallway.

The sound of rain falling onto the roof could still be herd.

"I wonder what that was about?" You could hear Petra say. "I don't know but Hanji sure looked like she was planning something.." Eld joined in.

"But I wonder what.." Gunther wondered.

"Tch, if shitty-glasses is planning something how is the Commander going to let her capture another Titan." Levi finally spoke.

"Hanji, why didn't you want Levi to know?" You asked as she carried on dragging you away.

"..let's just say that time you spent with him in that abandoned house, meant more to him than you think"