saudade | levi ackerman

edited chapter three

once again the cool morning breeze raised goosebumps all over your bare skin, you turned to your side. your eyes widened.  he was fast asleep, snoring a little.  you slowly sat up, trying not to move too fast. 

you could hear everyone talking outside, everyone must be dressed already. no ones normally awake at this time.  you felt a sudden jolt beside you.  "(y/n)?!" jean yelped, his hands suddenly in the air.  "oh" he sighed with relief and got out of bed, still dressed in his uniform from yesterday. "that scared me then, don't worry, i spent the whole night cleaning the stables and couldn't even walk back to my room, you let me say here" he paused for a moment "not sure how i ended up in your bed though" he laughed slightly and scratched the back of his head. 

you pulled yourself out of bed and scurried to the bathroom to put on a clean uniform. "that's great but everyone is already outside" you pulled your shirt over your head and gestured to the noise.  jean smirked a little and crossed his arms "and? we didn't do anything" he rolled his eyes and grabbed his jacket, making his way out your door. 

"jean! don't it will look-" one foot out the door, your hand outstretched to reach for him.  you found yourself face to face with a cravat. captain levi, holding jean by the collar of his jacket.  the noise had calmed down and everyone's eyes were on you.  "back to work, brats" he ordered, his voice even more resentful than usual.  all the soldiers promptly made their way to the food hall, silent until they were out of sight. 

"i asked you to clean the stables" he dropped jean to the floor, who pulled himself to his feet as quickly as possible.  "i did, all night, that's why i stopped with (y/n), i couldn't even walk-" jean was doing his best to explain the truth.  "this isn't tolerated" levi interrupted.  "he is telling the truth" you declared, you looked to jean who seemed pale and uneasy. 

levi looked between the both of you, even glancing into your room.  he turned his back to the both of you and began to stride off.  jean let out a breath of relief.  "(y/n), my office. jean, clean the stables, it wasn't good enough" his voice reverberated through the hallway.  jean groaned in annoyance. 

you reluctantly strolled to the food hall.  walking through the door and heading  straight to eren's table, your head down, your hair covering your face.  "don't ask me anything. it was nothing." you spoke between gritted teeth as you sat down between your friends.  eren, mikasa and armin nodded in agreement.  armin was acting different with you. perhaps it was because you hadn't sat with them the other day and ignored him when he had waved you over. 

"i've been called to his office again, i bet he won't want me on his squad anymore" a sign of sadness to your voice.  you were so grateful to finally be on squad levi, you had looked up to them since you began your journey here.  "he'll probably just discipline you, i'm sure he will put your skills before some silly little misunderstanding" armin encouraged.  you nodded, lifting your head and pushing the hair out of your face.  grabbing some food you stood from the table "wish me luck" and with that you headed to levi's office, again.

the noise had dampened once you reached his door.  before you had time to knock a cold voice called from inside "come in".  you turned the door handle and the door creaked open.  the captains eyes glared through the dark strands of his hair that covered his face.  you saluted and sat in the chair opposite him.  "i want to apologise, i want to reassure you that nothing happened and that i do not want to jeopardise this opportunity i have been-" a laugh disrupted your speech.  a pair of glasses in the corner of the room caught your eye.  hange pushed forward and clasped her hands on your shoulders.  "what are you saying sorry for?" she knitted her brow in concentration, awaiting your reply. 

you looked to levi and back to hange.  "what is going on?" you questioned, levi stood and walked to the window, his back turned to you.  "i wanted to ask you a massive favour! i want you to help me.. we are going outside the wall again but i'd like to catch another titan" her eyes began to fill with tears. you assumed she was thinking about her old captured titans who were murdered. 

"yes, of course" you nodded.  levi kept his back towards you "tell her the rest" he sipped his tea.  "well.." hange began "you will be the bait" her smile and gleaming eyes caused you to shudder.  you nodded again, this time slower and more hesitant.  she almost jumped with excitement, her hands squeezing on your shoulders.  levi turned to face you, his uniform jacket rested over his shoulders "i hope you know what you've agreed to" he watched as hange sprinted out the door. 

"does this mean i'm still on your squad?" you watched as he sat back in his chair.  "what you get up to with soldier jean is really none of my concern"  he placed his cup on the desk in front of you, papers were neatly stacked to the side.  a couple stuck out from the rest, you were sure you could see your name scrawled on one.  "yes, well, nothing happened, but yes, thank you" you struggled to put the sentence together and by the time you did he had already poured himself another cup of tea. 

it was odd, the way his presence brought you slight comfort. his cold and distant manners that would cause everyone else to feel fearful put you in a state of ease.  as if he would protect you, as if he had already protected you. 

you stood and pushed the chair to the desk. "captain" you saluted and turned to the door.  "just don't let it happen again (y/n), there isn't much more jean can clean" there was a hint of bitterness to his tone, like jean's name was a bad taste in his mouth.