my darling violet

chapter 8

Violet's pov

A knock on the door drew her out of drawing, standing at the door is Elijah with a smile on his face.

"Hey, it's time for dinner. I was sent to come and get you" he says with still on his face.

"Okay" I say simply, still not comfortable with anyone here.

Making our way downstairs we still don't talk and I make sure that he is still far away and that he can't touch me even if he tried.

Elijah leads the way to the dining room, as we get closer to a set of doors, we can hear more clearly the boys talking but Alessandro is the only one not talking.

Walking through the doors all the attention in the room turned to me, and all the conversation stopped.

Elijah began taking a step inside while putting a hand on my back.

After I felt a hand on me, I immediately walked forward and to the side, farther away from Elijah, with a heated look in my eyes. Elijah looks at me with an apologetic look his hand dropping back to his side and for a moment you could see him hesitating to speak.

"You're going to be sitting next to Alessandro and Lorenzo" Elijah says while pointing at the seat and going to the one on the other side of the table directly in front of me.

I make my way there still on guard of everything, taking a seat I look down at my lap with my hands fiddling with each other to try and calm my nerves. Still very aware that everyone is looking at me.

Maids come out with plates of food and put them in front of us, I take a look at the person who served me and gave her a thanking smile, which earned me a confused look from her. Taking a look at all my brothers for the first time I see that they all have stone-cold looks, not giving anything away.

They all begin digging as soon as the last person walked through the door, and it was fully closed.

I just sit there fiddling with my fingers again not daring to even look up let alone eat.

"Why aren't you eating your food Bambina?" I look up to see that Xavier said it, drawing all of the attention onto me and my untouched plate.

(bambina= baby)

I just stare at him not coming up with anything, my mind has gone totally blank. Like seriously the one time that I really need my brain it just poofs like a freakin' magic trick.

"Bambina?" Elijah says after seeing that I didn't answer. I shift my gaze from Xavier to Elijah, next to him, still not saying anything.

(bambina=baby)

I feel I slight tap on my arm and immediately look to my left to see Lorenzo looking at me with his hand that was previously on my arm, I give him a warning look, but he just ignores it.

"Why aren't you eating?" Lorenzo says kind of harshly, reminding me of how mother dearest used to talk to me. My heart rate picks up and I can feel my hands start to shake.

Trying my best to not look scared or give away anything I just simply stare at him before deciding that I should answer him before they start thinking I'm weird or that they don't want a girl like me.

"I'm not really hungry-" I say looking at him straight after I finish saying it I look at Alessandro knowing he's the boss here I ask very nicely but also kind of hurriedly "-can I please be excused and go to bed? I'm really tired"

I know I don't sound very convincing, but I can feel my hands starting to shake more and my breathing is short. I can see him hesitating so I decide to do something that I hope will let me leave. I show him my emotions, a look of pleading in my eyes also with a look that shows how tired I really am.

"Yes, you may go but if you get hungry later, please either get one of us or you can go into the kitchen just through those doors and make something for yourself" Alessandro says pointing to the doors that the maids went through.

Quickly getting up, I walk through the door and make my way to the stairs, trying to make sure I don't give off that I'm in pain from all the moving.

After struggling to make it to my room without falling down either from the pain or because of the panic attack I'm trying to push away, I stumble through my bedroom doors, falling to the floor I manage to kick the door close and when the door if fully closed I let myself completely go, dropping off the emotionless mask. Letting my face show how much pain I'm in and just how tired I am from the years of abuse.

My breathing gets faster with the need to get air in my lungs, a burning in my chest that keeps getting worse with no air in my lungs. I start seeing flashbacks of times when the monsters were yelling at me, their harshness toward me displaying in their voice and on their faces. Black spots appear in my vision, and I just wish that it hurries up, so my mind can stop playing memories of my treacherous past.