if i could go back to
the day we met..
i would choose to not be your friend.
"hey, i seen you out there. you're raw as fuck." i heard a voice behind me. i turned around to see one of the most known boys to play basketball at crossroads.
"thanks." i said smiling and looking up. he was tall as hell. "you're pretty good too." i mentally facepalmed myself. pretty good..? who the fuck says that?
he nodded and smiled. "oh, it's shaqir by the way." i know. "you wanna get ice cream with me y/n?" his smile was too cute to say no to.
"sure." shaqir widened my smile as i grabbed my stuff so we could go.
he recorded me as i put the spoon into my mouth. "stop!" i laughed covering my face.
-
"wanna go out to see a movie?" of course i couldn't say no to him. he's so cute and sweet.
"why not." i cheesed so hard. here i was dating someone who is way out of my league.
i laid my head on his shoulder. "you're actually adorable." he smiled and kissed my forehead.
"shut up." i geeked and smiled extremely hard.
"look at you, y/n." qir looked at me. "you'll always be my baby."
-
four months in..
i gave you the real me.
"yeah, i don't have the best connection with my parents." i frowned and felt his eyes on me.
"baby, it's okay. you'll always be my baby. you don't need them to shine." he wiped the tears from my face and kissed me.
the kiss deepened making him and i unclothe each other. shaqir kissed my neck to my stomach and looked and me. "is it okay if i..?"
trusting him i let him. i nodded assuring him to do it. it was my first time, i trust him. everything will be okay.
he had entered himself into me. "are you comfortable enough?" i nodded, even though i had felt a sharp pain.
soon, it felt alright. i started to get used to it. he kissed my neck as he stroked in and out. our lips then connected. a deep kiss had came again making me smile as we kissed.
his strokes became sloppier after i had climaxed. a minute or two later, he had reached his high and let his seed fill the condom. shaqir pulled out, threw it away, and laid beside me.
eight months in...
then you bounced.
"shaqir, you're so fucking irritating!" i screamed at the boy with tears forming. "i don't understand you. you're so complicated and i get it. you're stressed, but everything's always about you."
"y/n, you don't get it. you're so stuck up." my heart broke with every word he had said. "fuck it. fuck this! y/n, we are done. it's over, i'm out." and with all that, he left. right out the door.
all the tears came out.
a week later..
"i never thought that loving you was going to cause me pain." i sighed as a tear had fallen. i've been crying this whole week. i haven't been able to pick myself up.
"you did it to yourself." shaqir scoffed. "this ain't what i wanted. this ain't working."
my heart died. i felt as if it had detached and just stopped beating. unbelievable. eight months of complete bullshit. "i thought you loved me. you should've told me you were uncertain."
"y/n, you're too much. we can only be friends." he shrugged and leaned his back onto the wall. his words shot needles and thorns at me.
something had came over me, letting me spill out all my anger. "i was the one loving you. i was the one cuffing you. call me when you needed me. i was the one coming through.why didn't you believe in us? how come you just couldn't love? it wasn't that you didn't care. you just wasn't good enough" my tears had stopped as i came into realization. it was all a lie.
"y/n-" i pushes him away and left. just like he had done to me.
wishing him well. i hope he find something better. it wasn't my fault. i loved too hard to see. i became blind to his games. i was just another fuck.
i need to love myself before coming into this. i depended on him for love. i just want to know how are you going to up and leave like that. when i gave you all i had.
-
a/n: thank you for reading. this song has made me cry so many times. it's not the original, but the remix to it. whew child, a bitch was in tears for days. even though, i'm lonely as hell. anyways, thank you for reading. everyone needs a little heartbreak in their lives -
sativa 🤍.
