Part 99 (And You Were Happy)

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Daryl had been wandering around the yard for a while now, trying to figure out in his head what he planned on saying to CJ. He felt guilt for what he did at the Sanctuary. He felt guilty for a lot of things, actually. Her words rang in his ears over and over again, about how she felt he was pushing her away. About how he kept keeping stuff from her.

He was getting lost in the fight because he wanted it to be over as soon as possible. He wanted to go back to building the life he wanted for them. He wanted them to go away, just the two of them. He wanted to be able to call her his wife. He wanted to go back to waking up next to her in the morning without having to rush out and run into a battlefield.

Daryl Dixon wanted a normal life.

The only problem is, he lost sight of all that. He became so obsessed with ending the fight, that he forgot why he was doing it in the first place. He had experienced living without her, and it sucked. He never wanted to live a day of his life without her in it again. He couldn't do it.

Daryl's life before meeting CJ was always tough. He lived to move around with Merle, drinking and living off his wits to survive. It was like that for him even before the walkers infested the world. But when he met CJ, his perspective on life changed. It wasn't just about surviving day to day; it was about living.

He was ready to go and talk to her. He still wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he knew the first word he said would be 'sorry'. As he walked around to the front of the house to find her, he saw Rick coming out of the front door with a worried and conflicted look on his face. Dayl grew nervous, as the last time he saw Rick was right before he went to talk to CJ.

"Rick," he called out as he jogged over to him. "You good, man?"

Rick seemed to hesitate before answering with a sigh. "Look, she asked me not to tell you, but I gotta."

"What is it?" Daryl asked. "She alright?"

"CJ left," Rick mumbled, his hands on his hips.

Daryl felt his heart drop for a moment. "What do you mean she left?"

"When I went up there, she had one of Negan's radios tuned into a channel," Rick explained. "A voice said they were headed to Alexandria to see if any of us were still there. The guy... it was Josh." Daryl tensed at the name. "She said she could make it before them. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen. If no one saw her leave, I'm guessing she snuck out the back way."

Daryl's fists clenched by his sides, and he cursed in his head. "Imma' go get her."

He started storming down to the gate, his crossbow already strapped to his back. Rick walked beside him, matching his pace. "She said she'd be back before dark. She asked me to trust her."

"Trust don't mean shit in this," Daryl said lowly. "She's gone there for the same reason I went to the Sanctuary to do what I did. Only this is for her own fight, not ours."

Jesus was speaking to Carol and Maggie by the gate, and the three of them noticed Daryl and Rick marching their way.

"What's going on?" Jesus asked.

"CJ went out. Snuck out the back before I could stop her," Rick replied as Daryl walked on ahead to get a car. "Went to Alexandria. There are some Saviors there. Including that Josh guy."

"What does she think she's gonna do?" Maggie questioned, her eyes wide with worry.

"Something she's needed to do for years," Carol mumbled. The others looked to her for more of an explanation. "During the shootout in Alexandria a couple weeks ago, I found her shooting at Josh. She was just stood in the middle of the road with no cover, like she forgot where she was. I shot someone that snuck up on her and she snapped out of it. But after everything with..." she trailed off, looking and Rick sadly and he looked down, knowing she was talking about his son.

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