Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Eleven

Dear Diary

October 3rd, 2012

A nurse took me into the back room and I looked over at Nathan who was standing behind the window. I laid down on the metal bed and it began to raise up. I closed my eyes as the treatment started and I felt myself shaking. I hate radiation therapy and just lying there in the silence made me so anxious. Then I heard Nathan's voice coming through the speakers and even though I couldn't make out what he was saying his voice calmed me down. I focused on his voice and then before I knew it I was being lowered back down to the ground.

Nathan stayed with me for the past four days, two of them being the weekend and I tried to make him go to school but he wouldn't. I didn't really want him to leave so after a while of fighting him on it I just gave up. He went home to shower and change but other then that he was with me. Sometimes I wished I could have convinced him to go home and get a good night sleep, although I slept better when he was lying beside me.

A nurse helped me sit up and when I was out of the small room Nathan put his arm around me. We went back up the elevator and back to the hospital room. When we walked in I saw the doctor standing there with a clip board. "Darcy, here are your discharge papers. Your radiation will be every second day and chemo is every other day. That will go on for 2 weeks and then we'll revaluate." Nathan took the papers and then texted Matt the details. I managed to get Matt and Tristan to go to school and for Mom to go home. Nathan tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. Then I stepped into his arms and held onto his shirt.

"Ok, you get changed and I'll take you home." He waited outside the door and I put on clothes. It felt good to be out of that hospital gown and into something warm and soft. I walked out to see Nathan sitting in a wheelchair on his phone. "Hey, this is for you, the doctor said I had to take you out in it." He got up and I sat down, I hated wheelchairs but I wasn't going to fight, I wasn't going to make things harder for Nathan. He wheeled me out to the car and on the drive he just held me close to him.

"N-Nate can I ask you something?" He nodded keeping his eyes on the road and I continued. "Why aren't you mad at me?" Nathan turned to be with a confused look on his face before turning back to the road. "I kept a secret from you, a big one, and you were so open with me. You should be mad at me Nathan. So why aren't you." He looked like he was thinking about it and then my stomach started to get uneasy. Nathan was about to answer but I spoke before he got the chance. "Pull over." I said and Nathan looked worried all the sudden.

"One second." Nathan whispered but I didn't know of my puke would wait. I murmured his name and he pulled over on the side of the highway. I opened my door and basically fell out of the car onto my knees. When I coughed my stomach felt like it was going to come out my mouth and I threw up. Nathan's hand rubbed my back slowly and gently and when the agony was over he helped me up. "I'm not mad at you. Sure I was at first but I knew that you were planning to tell me and I knew you would tell me when you were ready." I searched his eyes but he wasn't lying and I wrapped my arms around his back. "Alright let's get off the side of the road." When we got to the house Nathan came around to my side and opened my door for me. "Do you feel ok?" I nodded and Nathan wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Alright babe." We walked inside and I saw my Mom in the kitchen doing dishes. When she's nervous or anxious she cleans, I guess it's a little bit of OCD. The house was spotless, there wasn't a speck of dust to be seen and when she saw us she rushed over.

"Honey how are you? Nathan sweetheart how is she?" Mom put her hands on my cheeks and covered me with bubbles from the dish detergent. Mom kept talking and didn't give us time to answer her question. "Nathan sweetheart you should go to school, I can take care of her." I was hoping Nathan would listen to her and go to school but much to my disappointment he shook his head.

"If you don't mind Ms. Silver I'd like to stay here." Nathan told my Mom politely and kissed the top of my head. Then he held my hand and as my Mom spoke I could feel his eyes on me. His eyes didn't leave me and I looked up into those eyes, his big blue eyes and I smiled at him assuring him I was ok.

"Awe you two are so cute." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and my face got red. "You can use the pull out couch to make you comfortable." I sat down in the chair and watched as Nathan moved the coffee table. Then he pulled out the couch and laid back on it. "Honey do you want something to eat?" My Mom said poking her head in the room and I shook my head. I got up and laid down on the bed beside Nathan. I put my head on his chest and I felt his hand raise and he stroked my hair. We stayed there silent and all I could hear was the faint sound of us breathing and dishes clanking in the kitchen. Mom came in holding a tray of pizza and I looked up at her. "I know you said you weren't hungry but Nathan probably is." Mom grabbed her purse and walked out the front door locking it behind her.

"You should try eating something baby, throwing up food hurts so much less then water." Nathan whispered to me and I nodded and sat up a little. I took a piece of pizza and Nathan smiled at me. He went through 3 piece's of pizza while I ate my one small piece. "I know what will make you feel better. Call of Duty and hot chocolate." He passed me a controller and I sighed and gave in. I didn't want to fight with him. "Let's make this interesting. We'll play split screen and first to 1000 points. Each time one of us loses we have to take off a piece of clothing." My eyes widened and for a second I thought he was being serious. "God I'm just kidding Darcy. I can't believe you thought I was serious, you should of seen your face. I'd be butt naked and by the time you would have had to take off your socks."

I slapped his shoulder and leaned on him as the game started up. Playing Call of Duty and decapitating Nathan a million times really did make me feel better. A little better at least. Nathan handed me hot chocolate and I sipped on it letting the warm go all through my body. "Thank you." I said and he kissed my cheek. I put my arm through his and then put my head on his shoulder starting to feel sleepy, but I didn't want to go to sleep. I yawned and Nathan's arm tightened around me. He pulled me closer into his chest and put the mug on the table beside him.

"You can sleep Darc." I shook my head and put my arm around his waist. "Darcy..." I could feel my eyes water and Nathan's hand touched my cheek. "Look at me." He said and I looked up as his lips came down on mine. "Go to sleep." This time I listened and I closed my eyes feeling his rough hand against my back. I let myself fall into a deep sleep.

I felt myself being raised up but I didn't open my eyes I felt so exhausted. I heard voices and then Nathan's voice but I couldn't tell what they were saying. I was laid down on my bed and then covers were put over me but Nathan never got in beside me. His lips kissed my forehead and then he whispered something in my ear. I could feel his breath against my skin and when he began to walk away I took his hand.

"I just have to go home for a few hours then I'll come back." He sat down beside me and ran his hand through my hair. I sat up and leaned into him then put my arms around his waist. Nathan kissed my neck and I sighed but then started to feel sick again. I ran into the bathroom and threw up whatever food was left in my system. I looked up at Nathan who was standing in the door way and he sat down against the wall.