Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter One

Dear Diary 

August 28th, 2012

I threw my sheets off my bed and stood up slowly remembering all those mornings I could hardly get out of bed. The sun that was coming in my bedroom window felt warm compared to my cold body and I wrapped myself in a blanket. There was noise coming from downstairs probably from the TV. I never knew why Matt liked to get up early at the brink of dawn right when the sun came up. I stood in front of the mirror staring at my reflection. My shoulder length hair fell in curls, and it looked almost white in the sunlight. My eyes looked a light green that matched my mothers, but in every other way I looked like my father.

I met him, but he died when I was young, so I don't really remember him too well. Matt does though. Sometimes I think my mom misses him, she still loves the man even 14 years later. Is it a bad think to say I'm scared of the day I finally fall in love?

There was a knock on my door and then it creaked open.

"Hey, I heard you were up. You feeling ok?" Matt asked me that every morning. I don't think there will come a day when he finally stops fearing that my cancer will come back. He handed me a bagel and I knew I had to eat it even though I wasn't hungry. Me not being hungry would worry Matt and he would say it was a sign. Although I knew it was just nervousness about my junior year. "Earth to Darcy!" He called out and I snapped out of my trance.

"Just dandy," I said joyfully, who says dandy these days... I brushed past him walking into the bathroom that was between our rooms.

"The guys are coming over soon and Mom left early she took an extra shift because she's taking the day off tomorrow to go to your doctor's appointment." Due to all the medical bills, house payments and taxes, my mom was trying to keep up with three jobs. We tried to help and get jobs ourselves but when I got sicker, I had to quit and Matt would have to be home to take care of me. Matt and I told her we could move to a smaller house, but her answer was always, 'no there are too many memories here.'

"Alright." I feared my doctor's appointment. Sometimes I wished I could just leave everything unknown and be a normal teenager like everyone else and not have to worry.

"Yo Matt, and De, we got a new friend." Tristan was Matt's friend and Matt's friends were always my friends. Tristan had called me De ever since I could remember he was like a brother to me.

I went in my closet and found some short jean shorts to go along with my baggy grey sweater. The boys wouldn't care how I dressed or if I had makeup on. They saw me as one of the guys or Matt's little sister not a 17-year-old woman. I went into the room across the hall and sat down at the piano. This room was my second room, I spent half my time in there getting my feelings out.

It was a small room, with light yellow walls and a small, wallpapered pattern as a boarder. The room had an airy smell with a hint of vanilla, probably because the window was open and there was a Febreze air freshener sitting in the corner.

I opened the fallboard and ran my nimble fingers across the keys. I remembered every song I've ever played, along with Matt it seemed like music was the only thing that kept me alive. Music kept me alive, and it gave me hope, a sense of hope I got from nothing else. I played a sequence of chords, and I began to sing.

Skinny Love was a song I could relate to, because all I wanted to do was last the year and if I died, I wanted to be remembered. My voice quivered and I stopped and stared down at the keys watching a tear fall onto the black and seep into the wood. "You're very good, Darcy." I looked behind me and found a boy standing there watching me carefully.

His brown hair looked like it hung perfectly, and he had big blue eyes that sparkled when they caught the light. "I'm Nathan." I walked past him, not once before had let a boy other than Matt and Tristan see me cry and I wasn't about to.

"Nathan- Darc are you alright?" Tristan got cut off when he saw my tear-stained cheeks, and he looked to Nathan suspiciously like he had done something wrong. I gave Tristan a glare and he immediately shut himself up. "Uh- Never mind." Tristan grabbed my hand and pulled me into the nearest room which happened to Matt's. "What's wrong? Is it-?" I cut him off quickly.

"No. I was playing the piano and he walked in on me." Tristan nodded, knowing how playing the piano in front of people made me feel and how my emotions usually got the best of me. I could never control them, my emotions, or feelings.

"Well, I'm going to join the guys. Are you sure you're alright?" I forced myself to smile and I walked down the stairs with him.