Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Six

Dear Diary

September 17th 2012

4 doctors appointments, and counting, and chemotherapy starts in two days. My suspicions were confirmed after having a bone marrow biopsy and many blood tests just to make sure. I hated the way the doctors looked at me with such sympathy and I remember exactly what they said when I got the results. I remember every single word.

"The results from the bone marrow biopsy came back... Positive and it looks like it has already spread quite a bit. We will start chemotherapy as soon as possible, in 4 days. If that doesn't start making a difference in two months then we will start radiation."

I remember running, running through the halls of the hospital and outside into the parking lot through rows of cars that were scattered. Matt grabbed me and pulled me into his arms as I felt my knees start to buckle. He lowered us both to the ground and I sat on his lap as he held me. Even though I thought that my cancer was back before it happened, it still hit me like a truck load of bricks.

That was two days ago, and I haven't had a meal since. Tristan and Matt were with me most all the time, making jokes trying to make me feel better. I felt like crying all the time but I knew that crying wasn't going to make the cancer go away. I pushed the blankets off myself and walked down the stairs. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Matt said and put his arms around me.

"I'm alright Matty." I said but he kept holding me. I didn't mind I liked it when he held me, it was comforting. I backed out of his arms and quickly changed the subject. "Did Tristan leave?" Matt put a plate with eggs in front of me and I knew I was going to have to make myself eat them.

"No he's still asleep." He watched me eat and made sure I finished every last bite. Then Tristan slowly emerged from the guest room, his hair was a mess and all he had on was boxers. He always did when he stayed here but just recently it started to effect me. It made the blood rush to my cheeks and I quickly put a spoon full of eggs in my mouth.

"Like what you see Darcy?" He asked posing and Matt spit out the coffee he was drinking then hit Tristan on the arm. "Why can't I have my fun? You didn't do anything when her and Nathan were making out in the backyard."

"Not cool dude that's my sister. Do you want to do something today?" Matt asked and I shook my head and walked back up the stairs. I looked in the mirror at myself, and knew I was soon going to lose my hair. It took so long to grow back, I took my old wig from my closet, it made me look so young and I threw it against my bed. I sat against the wall and put my head in between my knees. "We could go get a new one if you want to?" Matt was standing in my doorway looking at me.

"Alright." He sat down beside me and helped me up off the ground. He left and I got dressed then headed back downstairs. In the car I turned on the radio, and looked out the window watching the trees pass.

"We're here." Matt was standing beside me leaning against the open car door. "Come on." I put my arm through his and we walked in together. As he opened the door the bell above our heads rang and then I heard a familiar voice.

"Oh god." I whispered stopping in my tracks and Matt looked at me with a confused look on his face. He looked worried, he thought something was wrong but nothing was really wrong other then the fact that I could see Nathan and Ethan standing about 10 ft. away from me.

He was facing the other direction he didn't see me and I was glad but just when I was about to leave I heard my name being called and it wasn't Matt who was calling me. "Darcy?" I swallowed and hoped I wouldn't be scared and right when I thought the fear went away but then I turned around and looked at him. The fear came back and I felt my stomach churning. "What are you doing here?" He asked and when I was just about to answer Ethan cut me off.