Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Nine

Dear Diary

September 25th 2012

I walked out of the treatment room and met Matt and Tristan in the lobby. My legs were already feeling wobbly and I was so nervous how it all was going to turn out. Radiation would be starting in a week and then I would lose my hair and things would start to get worse. I knew I still had to tell Nathan abut everything and I was planning on it. Every time I saw him I planned on telling him but I just couldn't find the heart. Every day I was falling more and more in love with him.

I sat in the back of the car and when I got through the front door of the house Matt and Tristan had me both lying down on the couch. I hated doing nothing and sitting there feeling sick to my stomach. I wanted to go out so bad, do something fun and feel alright again. I clutched onto the green pillow on the couch and then I heard Tristan call out my name.

"Darcy soups done." He brought me over a bowl and I sat up so I could eat it. The chicken noodle soup smelt good but I wasn't sure if my stomach could hold it down. "Darcy eat the soup." I nodded and put a spoonful in my mouth. Then one spoonful at a time I finished the bowl.

"Nathan's coming over later." I told him and Tristan turned back to me holding stacked soup bowls in his hands. He set them down on the counter and then sat back down beside me.

"Are you sure you're up to that Darcy?" He asked sweetly and I nodded. At first I thought he was just looking out for me. "Why do you like him so much?" He asked and I raised my eyebrows but I answered anyways even though it was none of his business.

"Because I don't know, he's sweet and kind and..." But I couldn't think of any other reasons.

"He's not good enough for you Darcy!" He raised his voice and I flinched backwards.

"And who do you suppose is 'good enough' for me... You?!" He mad me so mad sometimes.

"Yes!" He yelled and stood up frustrated with me.

"You can not tell me who I can and can't love." I stood up too and pushed him backwards.

"You love him?!" He seemed so surprised, that I could actually fall in love with Nathan.

"Yes! Yes I'm in love with him!" I ran upstairs and grabbed my phone. I couldn't stand being in the house any longer.

Do you want to go out somewhere?

-D

Ya sure I'll pick you up in 10 minutes. Everything alright?

-Nate

Ya everything's fine, just need to get out of the house.

-D

Alright see you soon.

-Nate

I cleaned myself up and let my hair down. I felt my stomach churn but nothing happened and I was glad, I didn't want to throw up. I put on some jeans and a sweater and then I heard something hit my window. I looked and saw a rock on the balcony. I walked out and saw Nathan standing on the grass looking up at me. "I'll be right down."

I snuck past Tristan and Matt and it wasn't hard because they were arguing, probably about the fight Tristan and I had. I closed the door behind me and ran over to Nathan. He had his bike and he put the helmet on my head then put on his own. "Darcy." I heard Matt yell and I hopped on the bike.

"Go." I said and Nathan revved the engine. We drove down the street and my stomach was doing flips. "Nathan stop!" I yelled over the loudness of the motorcycle and he stopped the bike so fast. I climbed off and bent over with my hands on my knees. His hand rubbed my back and when I felt better I put my arms around him.

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly and I nodded. "Good." When we were back on the bike he drove slow and when we were at a lake he stopped. "Here we are." I got off and Nathan put out a blanket on the grass. He sat down and then pulled me down with him so I was laying on top of him. I could feel his breath and our noses were millimetres away from touching that's how close together we were.

"Kiss me..." I murmured feeling bold and being a guy he didn't have to be asked twice. Our lips meet and then he moved his hand around to the back of my neck. When I moved away he pulled me back in and I felt the growing need to tell him that I loved him and the need to tell him about my cancer slowly went away.

I felt like I wasn't sick anymore and I liked that feeling. Nathan made me feel that way, he made me feel so alive and when we kissed I was alive. I was once again part of the living, I wasn't slowly dying and chemicals weren't rushing through my blood stream. I was going to tell him I loved him, I could feel the words slowly beginning to come out of my mouth and then I said it.

"I love you Nathan." I couldn't of been more sure, I was in love with Nathan Flynn and all it took was 4 small weeks. We kissed again and I wanted so bad for him to say it back but I knew he didn't have to. His hands slipped up under my shirt and his hands were on my bare skin.

"I love you too Darcy, so much." I wondered what his reaction would be if I told him about my cancer. Would he get mad? Sad? Would he leave me? Break my heart? There were so many 'WHAT IFS' but I knew I just had to take the consequences because it was my fault I didn't tell him when I first found out.

"Nathan I need to...." He cut me off and kissed me again making me stop talking. "Nathan..." I started again but his finger pressed up against my lips made me stop talking. I realized I was still lying on top of him so I got off and sat up with my back to him. I felt his hand on my shoulder and it started to rub down towards my chest.

That's when I froze, he was going to see the catheter but just when he almost touched it Nathan removed his hand and I took a deep breath. He took off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders. "Here, you took cold." I smiled and he pulled me down so that my head was on his stomach. My eyes closed and I yawned, I never thought I could fall asleep mid day with the sun shinning brightly.

When I woke up I felt soft blankets beneath me and when I opened my eyes I saw the purple paint off my room and not the green leaves of the trees. I rolled over and looked at the clock 7:30. Then I heard the guys downstairs playing on the Play Station. I walked down the stairs with a yawn and sat on the chair and wrapped my arms around my knees.

"Hi sweetheart." My Mom said as she entered the living room and kissed my forehead. "The boys already ate do you want any?" I nodded and Mom handed me a plate with a slice of pizza on it. "Eat what you can darling."

Matt walked over to me and sat on the arm of the chair. "Hey, Nathan brought you back around 5 and carried you upstairs." I nodded and took a bit of the pizza.

"Hey Darcy do you want to play?" Dylan asked and I shook my head. He looked disappointed so I gave in, Dylan always had that effect on me. I took the controller in my hands and we started to play a game called Mike Myers we made up, well I think we made it up.

Everyone was on one team except for me, I was 'Mike Myers' I had to kill everyone else and they couldn't kill me until it was one on one. I ended up winning, the guys hadn't beet me in years, so I was undefeated. "Oh, looks like you guys got owned again by a girl!" I gloated and then finished my late supper.

"I think you should go to bed little Darc." Reese said when he noticed me starting to slowly doze off.

"Night guys." I walked up the stairs and put on pyjamas before wrapping myself in blankets.