Lost in the Shadows

27

Once again I didn't get much sleep due to the fact that still every time I would close my eyes I could see that mans lifeless eyes staring at me. It also didn't help that I tried to sleep on the floor, but I didn't feel like moving at all last night.

Rocky licked my face indicating that it was time to get up, but I didn't feel like getting up. I felt like lying here for the rest of my life, or at least until my bruise healed up.

I sat up from the wooden floor with my head throbbing due to the continuous sobs from last night. "Did you get any sleep last night," I asked massaging his brown floppy ears. He let out a loud yawn which told me that he didn't either. I let Rocky out the bedroom door, because I knew that he would have to use the bathroom, but I didn't feel like speaking to anyone.

Rocky eventually came back to my door and scratched it and he came back in to be just sit around with me. It made me happy that he wanted to be around me, and even though I was grateful to have him by my side, I still wanted to get out of here.

And that's when I had an idea.

Night time came along and every one went to bed. I noticed Wes never left his room either. However, once it hit 11:30 pm I decided I it was time to play out my awfully great plan.

I took Rocky quietly down the stairs and put his leash on and then quietly snuck outside. It seemed colder than usual, but it felt nice to be in fresh air. Rocky trotted alongside me as we walked down the empty streets. I knew that it would be a bad idea to leave the house alone, but I knew that Rocky would scare people away. I mean he is a large dog and if I wasn't such an animal lover I would be terrified.

We eventually came up onto a liquor store. Yes, my big idea was to sneak out to buy alcohol. But in my defense I needed it. All I could think about was in the matter of two days, I witnessed a man die right in front of me after he tried to kill me. Then, Wes explaining to me how he's in a gang and was going to use me as leverage to kill me dad. But the thing that stuck out in my head the most was that he told me he loved me, I couldn't shake that. The boy who I've fallen for as well admitted he loved me and I couldn't say it back. I'm not sure if that makes me insane or psychotic, but him telling me he loved me after everything he told me last night made me fucked up.

I bought raspberry vodka, because I knew that it would make me forget tonight. Even though, last time I drank this I threw up for hours, and that was in high school. The smell still made me sick, but I knew it would do the job. "Are you okay, Miss," someone asked as I walked outside to grab Rocky.

"Yes, thank you," is all I could say. I knew they wondered how I got such a nasty bruise, but I wasn't going to entertain them and besides I didn't feel like speaking to anyone.

The walk back to the house was the most dreadful especially since I had already taken a few swings of the vodka. I wasn't feeling much of anything though, I could still feel the pain in my heart and the confusion in my head. I prayed that I could forget that tonight.

Once we got onto the porch I was shocked to see David sitting on the patio waiting for me. I waved awkwardly as I stepped on the wooden porch. "Did you have a nice walk," he asked trying to guilt me, but when he saw the vodka his eyes softened. "You know it was dangerous, but it was smart to bring Rocky," he chuckled as he stood up. "Wes doesn't know you left, I'll let this one slide, but if he ever finds out he's going to be pissed. So let's keep this between us," he smiled but it seemed be a pity smile to me.

He walked us both inside and then locked the door behind us, "Go upstairs before Wes wakes up," he instructed as he pointed upstairs.

"What's going on," Wes tiredly groaned as he walked downstairs following the noise. David quickly took the bottle of alcohol from my hands to hide the evidence of me leaving. I quietly thanked him. "Danielle? David?" He asked in confusion. He also looked like he hasn't slept in a few days, I knew I looked the same. His cheeks were puffy as he walked down the stairs to meet David and me.

"I was just asking David if he knew where the extra blankets were, it's cold," I terribly lied trying to hide the fact that I had snuck out with his dog.

"Why do you have raspberry vodka," he interrogated David with a scold. Please don't cave in.

"It's my favorite," David lied almost making chuckle as I pictures David drinking raspberry vodka at 1am.

I started to walk past Wes with Rocky until he paused me by putting his hand on my shoulder. He just looked at me with his distraught blue eyes. I could see his pain through his eyes, and as I stared back into them I realized how much I didn't hate him at all. As he touched my shoulder, I just wanted to make his pain go away, but I couldn't. I hated that I didn't hate him. He let out a sigh as I continued my way up the stairs.

I never heard him come back up, but I did hear a slight knock on my door. It was David with my bottle, he didn't say anything as he handed it to me. He just put his fingers in front of his lips and winked. I smiled at him, or at least tried. I haven't smiled in a while so it felt forced.

"Look Rocky," I told him as I wiggled the bottle in success. He just laid his head down and put his paws over his eyes. I guess he didn't want to see my self destruction tonight.

It took me half the bottle to submerge my feelings of pain. But even with the numb feeling of the vodka, I still felt empty inside. I heard footsteps walking up the stairs which is when I turned to Rocky and told him to be extra quiet. I knew it was Wes, and I knew that if he came in, I wouldn't be able to pretend to be sober. He would be furious with me.

The shadow stood in front of my door and I could see the knob turn the slightest. I knew it was coming, but it never did. I heard another sigh of defeat as the shadow disappeared into his own room.

As I took a couple more sips of the pain relieving alcohol, before sliding it under my bed. And then I finally grew tired and passed out on the floor beside Rocky. I guess the vodka did have it perks, I was finally able to rest my eyes without seeing the mans empty face.