Lost in the Shadows

25

I tried to get sleep last night, but every time I would get an ounce of sleep, I would see that mans face. Wes had to wake me up from the nightmares countless times last night, and when it was the fifth time of him brushing my hair with his fingers whispering that it's only a dream and that he's right there to protect me, I decided to not try anymore. Wes didn't get sleep either, we both just stared off into the dark room and even though no words were spoken I could still hear his mind racing deep in thought.

Once the sun came up Wes stood up from the bed and turned on the light, "I'm going downstairs if you need me. Is there anything I can do," he asked softly.

"Can you bring Rocky in here," I asked just wanting some puppy therapy, even though rocky was one of the biggest dogs I've ever seen. Wes smiled and nodded, I think he was just happy to hear my voice.

He opened the door and Rocky came running in with his tail wagging. "Is he allowed on the bed," I asked knowing that some people don't allow their animals on the furniture but Wes nodded and exited the room.

Rocky jumped on the bed and licked my face where I still had a baseball sized bruise, "good boy," I cooed as I pet his head. He then laid his head on my lap in peace, "And your supposed to be a guard dog," I chuckled scratching underneath his chained collar.

We both sat in the room for hours, he never tried to leave my side and that felt safe for me. There's nothing stronger than a dogs compassion and underneath all of the muscle, Rocky had plenty. "Do you know all the secrets that hide in this house," I asked him causing his head to lift. "How has it is," I wondered and even though I was talking to him, it was more of me thinking out loud.

He rolled over so that I could rub his tummy, I laughed as he wiggled in excitement. I thought that there's no way this dog could ever be scary, but the I remembered how Wes said that he can sense good. I'm not sure if that's true, but I'd like to think that.

After checking the clock to realize it was 2pm, I decided to stand up. Wes had brought me sweat pants so I put those on and whispered to Rocky, "I'm tired of this room, how about we get some fresh air," I told him resulting in him jumping up from the bed and following me out the door.

As I walked down the stairs I could hear Wes talking to the boys, I couldn't hear over Rockys jumping down the stairs though. Once I got to the bottom they all turned their heads in shock, I'm guessing they didn't expect me to get up this morning. Which is probably a reasonable thought, but I didn't want to be sad and I didn't want to feel defeated. "Can I take Rocky outside," I asked making Wes scrunch his face in confusion but he then hesitantly said yes.

I walked out of the back door and felt the cold air nipping at my exposed arms and neck, it felt good. I could feel again, I could feel the cold breeze with a hint of sun shining on me. The snow was in the process of melting which made Rocky confused as he jumped from one puddle into another. "Rocky," I called patting my knees for him to come towards me.

I walked halfway to meet him and he excitedly jumped on me causing me to fall onto the ground laughing. "You're a good boy," I cooed as he nodded for me to take the tennis ball out of his mouth.

I stood up and threw the ball out into the last pile of snow, I assumed Rocky enjoyed the cold pile of frost because he jumped right on top of it making the snow collapse. He then brought the ball back and dropped it in front of my feet. I bent down to pet his large head and massaged his ears. "When's the last time someone around here showed you this much attention," I cooed using my dog voice. I wondered if it was insulting for him as I talked to him like a child, but I think everyone has a dog voice.

When I threw the ball again I felt the presence of Wes, I could always feel him when he entered a room. The hairs on the back of my neck would stick up and my arms would tingle, it was like I was drawn to him like a magnet. "Are you feeling better," he asked still speaking to me as if I would start sobbing again. I didn't answer, I didn't know how to. I'm not feeling better, my body still aches from last night and I still couldn't stop thinking about the scruffy man, but I could feel again. And I'd rather feel something, anything at all than to feel numb and not present in my own skin.