ALMOST A FAIRYTALE | ✔️

7| Waiting to Exhale

I certainly was not laughing now. Even if everyone was. Ryan was leaving and I was going to me all alone. Alone, alone with nobody, but nobody. I know it is a stretch, I've got family and no friends, actually one friend I was feuding, but his leaving was creating a hole in my heart. I only wished that there was a technology developed that could enable us see and touch each other like there was no space, no distance, only us.

Why does life to be filled with gray areas that complicate everything?
Why can't life be so predictable?
Why do we have to bend inflexibly to its unpredictable whims?
Who knew that meeting Ryan was going to end so fast as lightning?
When do I get the courage to inhale the future and exhale the past?

Like clockwork, Ryan came by my house at 7am to say goodbye (the only predictable act in the chaos). I had a plan in mind, I was go into go to the airport with him, literally, literally. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and wore a jacket over my mickey mouse pj's then sat at the backseat of the car like I was the boss. So spontaneous! I could feel the driver laughing at my outfit, but really who cares.

The drive to the airport was 30mins and we did not say a single word until we got there. Even when the car went over a bump and our bodies pressed together in all the wrong areas, everything was silent.

"Ali...", he called when we finally got to the airport.
"oh Ryan, stay, just for one more day"
"Ali, you now I have to do this", he said reasonably. He stepped out of the car and I quickly rush to his side. I wanted to spend every breathing second of this moment by his side. I even voluntarily helped him take out the luggage from the trunk even though he protested.

As we were walking together, side by side, I stopped to memorise his face, the way he moved, the way he smiled and the way he laughed, feeling as though it was the last. Out of the blue, I found my body inclining to his, leanining in. Soon our bodies collided and our lips nuzzled together.

I wished I could accompany him to the gate, see him board the flight and the plane taking off, but the farthest I could go with him was the checkpoint. I gave him a long bear hug, then turned away determined not to look back. I could hear the screeching sound of the luggage wheels against the ground, but I did not succumb.

There is no glory flying in the sky 40, 000feet off the ground going to another country, my pissed self analyzed. Well, if I was flying with him, the feeling would be different. How do I tell my parents that I want to got to Italy with my boyfriend. They would slap the beserk out of me.

I sat in the car all sad and emotional and I could not believe the turn of events. The drive back was even more silent than ever. I kept playing our every encounter in my mind. Boy, I do get attached so easily. Maybe, I am too traditional or simply a hopeless romantic. Am I really at fault? Too much pressure is put on girls with these unwritten rules- by 15 we are dating and by 25, we are to be married. Screw the rules. With Ryan gone, I am certain that I was going to be 41 and still single or maybe not.

After saying thank you to the kind driver who brought me home. I went straight to my room, without speaking to anyone, collapsed on my bed and wrapped myself in a comfortable blanket, ready to eat my emotions away. But then Hailey walks in all apologetic and I didn't know what to say.

After 3 days of my bestie bugging me to forgive her, I was finally carving in. First she, sent me 100 messages all saying "please forgive me". Then brought me a dozen roses. She kept showing up in my house pleading forgiveness. What else could I expect her to do? She was sorry. Even my brother was completely unperturbed. He had not even said word about it again after he gave me that uncalled for threat.

Seeing her entering my room like old times, I felt an inner voice saying let it go. Once more, she pleaded for my forgiveness. I invite her to sit by me on my bed, and I held her hands.

"Haile, I saw a side of you that was scary to me that I had never seen before- You and my brother being involved. In a way, it is really none of my business, but in a way, it is also all my business. You know how dear Axel is to me. I tell you everything, so how come you could not tell me that at least you were attracted to him"

"I get it Ali, but it is not that plain and simple. I have always liked your brother and it was really a spur- in the- moment kind of thing. I never intended to let it go that far."

"How do I trust you again?"

"I can't promise you that. I am going to put my best foot forward and be a better friend"

"Good, we are on the same page. You know I can't get mad with you for so long".

We hug it out after promising never to keep secrets from each other. As I was giving her the breakdown of all that had happened during our brief hiatus, she kept looking at me in queerish manner.

"Hailey why are you looking at me like that?"

"Girl, you look a hot mess. Come let me glam you up. He is gone and so what?"

Somehow, I sat at the end of the bed and looked at my reflection in the mirror as Hailey brushed my hair to perfection while a pictured myself in a white dress by the beach waiting to exhale.

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