Just Me Again.

5: Kiss

MARIA HARRISON

To cheer up Paige and Rene in particular – David decided to take us all three for dinner. Rene cheered up, but Paige stilled seem upset. She was trying to pretend that she is okay but, it wasn't working. I could see that she was really upset. After dinner, David proposed to go out for some drinks and we all agreed. We went to a local pub and were enjoying our drinks when my phone rang. Rene and Paige were laughing at something David said – I chuckled as I see them laughing and took my phone out of my purse. The smile slowly fell off my face as I recognize the number well. I haven't talked to him in the last twenty months. I mashed up lips and eyed my friends to see them all busy talking to each other. I placed my purse on the table and collected my crutches before standing up and making my way a little farther from them.

My heart was beating fast as I answered the call, "Hello?" I said hesitantly.

"I wanted to ask you something." He said.

I leaned against the corner of an empty table and sighed, "What is it, Silas?" I asked him softly.

It has been so long since I heard his voice. Although it has been twenty months, honestly it feels like yesterday when I talked to him at the hospital and told him about my plans of leaving. I remember that day vividly – Charlotte was admitted to the hospital after she was attacked. I sent Marcus home and asked him to shower and eat something until I was with Charlie. I was sitting outside her room when Silas walked towards me with two disposable cups in his hand. He sat beside me and we talked a little before he said and I clearly remember his words. They still ring in my mind now and then, "I know I ruined your life, Maria. I know how much you wish you never met me. I am sorry for making your life a living hell. Although, I don't deserve your forgiveness, still – I hope you will forgive me."

"I forgave you a long time ago," I replied in a whisper.

"I know. I also know that you are leaving." I was surprised he said that to me. I was quite nervous to tell him that I was leaving. I wasn't sure how he will react – what will happen? But there – he knew. He already knew that I was going away. When I asked him how he knew, he told me that he heard me talking to Leo earlier. He must have heard me talking to my brother in the hospital earlier when he called me to tell me that he has arranged the tickets and that he is happy that I was coming to live with him.

"I won't stop you." He said next. His voice wobbled a bit, but I saw him gulping when looking at the cup that was in his hand – resting on his lap.

"I am sorry for everything. Maria – you are free. Free to be anywhere. Free to be with anyone. I – I can't control your life. But, I just want you to know this that you will always be in my heart – no matter what." I remember when he said that and got up from the seat. "Goodbye." It was his last word to me before he quietly walked away. It is the first time we are talking after that.

"Do you still have my number in your phone?" Silas's voice dragged me out of the train of memories. His voice slurred in the end.

I frowned – was he drunk? I thought, "Are you drunk?" I asked him and glanced towards the group of people sitting near – laughing and yelling out drunkenly.

"Bingo!" he laughed.

"God, Silas – where are you?" I asked him concernedly. I don't want him to be somewhere alone and drunk. He can be careless when he drinks.

He sniffed, "I am in my office – alone – in darkness." He answered and then I heard a ticking voice. "I am in the light now." He said. "Oh, here comes the darkness – again." He said as the ticking voice continued. He laughed – he was completely wasted.