The Deep End

January- Cal

Chapter Song: Don't Take The Money- Bleachers

"Have you had any more dreams?" I asked curiously. I began to twist my fingers with hers, toying with them.

"Yeah here and there." She shrugged.

She hesitated. I knew she was holding something back. I could tell by the way she was biting her bottom lip. I had a love-hate relationship with her when she did that.

Sometimes I wished she wouldn't hold back what she was really thinking or feeling. I wanted her to let me in, but I couldn't sit there with an ax pounding at the invisible wall she built. It would only cause more pain. I tried to be patient with her. That was the best I could do. Be patient, she would talk when she was ready. It was always like that with her.

"You know I'm here for you," I said into her hair giving her a quick kiss before leaning my chin on top of her curls. They were soft and smelled like vanilla with a hint of chlorine. It was her signature scent. Never being able to rid the scent of chlorine from her

It was funny to me how she always smelled that way. Even when she wasn't in the pool for a day or two, chlorine still lingered. I guess people might find it strange, but I liked it. It was cute.

She looked up at me and kissed me. At first, it was a soft and slow kiss. It always started out that way which led us to want more. I melted into her in an instant. She deepened the kiss running her hands into my hair while tugging on my lip. She slid her tongue into my mouth and I couldn't help but groan. She was intoxicating.

"You're killing me here." I groaned into her as her hands tugged at my belt.

"Why is that?" She playfully continued.

"You know why." I sighed moving her hand away from my pants.

It's not that I didn't want to. Believe me, I did. More than anything I wanted to be that close to her and feel every inch of her. I was a guy, I had needs. I'd seen her practically naked before. Those swimsuits she would wear were revealing, but I wanted more. Just not here. Not on a roof. I respected her way too much for that.

"Why not?" She pouted.

"Have you felt this roof?" I gasped. "Its like sandpaper."

"Stop!" She laughed. I loved it when she laughed. I loved making her laugh.

I needed to tell her. Liam already thought I did, but I didn't have the courage to actually tell him the truth. I was a coward. Besides I needed to tell her before any of them could. I just knew it would crush her, and I couldn't imagine ever doing that to her. I just had to find a way to explain it to her.

"Do you even want to?" She looked down biting her lip again.

"Stop doing that." I whispered rubbing my thumb across her lip.

"Doing what?" Her big brown eyes met mine with curiosity. I could tell she was trying to pout, but I couldn't let it get to me.

"You know what." I gave her a crazy look making her smile. "I want to more than anything," I admitted.

"So why'd you stop me?" I didn't know if she was hurt or actually confused. Sometimes it was hard to tell with her. She had a good poker face.

"I don't want it to be here," I told her. I meant it. "I want it to be just us, preferably in a bed." I shrugged.

"Oh..." She drew out her o's.

"Besides," I whispered pulling her closer. "I don't want to worry about anyone else when it happens. I want you all to myself."

"Oh yeah?" She teased wiggling her eyebrows. The fire in her eyes burned brighter now.

"Of course." I kissed her quickly and then another quick peck. I kept doing it until she was in a fit of laughter laying across my lap.

"I think Liam is finally okay with all this." She sighed when she finally regained her composure.

Shit.

Liam. I really hoped he never mentioned anything to her. I knew he never wanted any of us to go after his sister, but I couldn't help it. When someone says you can't do something you really wanted to, it only made you want to do it more. Especially after being away at lacrosse camp this summer.

She had changed. She grew up more. She was sure becoming more beautiful. It was hard not to notice. I'm pretty sure all the other guys at school noticed too. I saw the way they looked at her. The guys on the team would talk about her until Liam started to stick them.

It had been about two months since she came to me on the lacrosse field. If I could relive that moment over and over I would. That was the moment when nothing else mattered but her. We finally stopped caring about everyone else and what they thought about it. We finally just did what we wanted.

I never asked her to be my girlfriend or anything. I didn't feel the need to. We were us and that was the rest.

"I really want some pickles," I said changing the subject.

"Ew, what?" She made fake gagging noises.

"What are you talking about pickles are good!" I eyed her.

"You just ate cookie dough and now you want a pickle?" She sat up straight. "Did Tyler get you pregnant or something?" She laughed.

"Oh yeah I'm three months I hope its a boy." I continued to play on with the joke.

"Tyler Junior or Callum Junior?" She asked feeling my stomach.

"His name will be Gordon," I said proudly.

"Gordon?" She raised her eyebrows.

Her eyebrows furrowed together. She was trying to figure out the reasoning behind the name. There wasn't. It was just the first name to come to my mind. I liked to watch her try to think out an answer or process all the information. Her eyebrows would scrunch together and her eyes would get all squinty. It was cute.

"Yes, it's a strong name." I smiled smugly.

"Yeah for someone who will get punched." She snorted.

"No one named Gordon gets punched!" I yelled.

"That's because your name isn't Gordon." She shook her head at me punching me in the shoulder.

Just as she was about to punch me again I grabbed her hand. All of a sudden I dropped it, and we both grew quiet. The countdown had started. She leaned back into my lap as we counted together.

When it finally reached one, we pressed our lips together. It was cheesy and so overplayed but it was with her. Nothing else mattered. I wish I would have taken her up on her offer and just left. I wanted nothing more than to be spending the night with her alone.