Suffocating

Failure (Trigger)

Calvin.

Drops of water poured from the shower head, filling the tub with water. The level rose from the bottom until it was just at the edge of spilling over. A tan hand reached out and turned the faucet off.

Calvin stripped down to his boxers. His gray shirt and black shorts laid on the bathroom tile in a pile. Against the white tile, it looked bland and boring. Just like his life was.

He put one foot into the bath water, then another. Even though the water was warm, goosebumps rose on his skin and the hairs stood up.

He grabbed his phone and glanced at the time. He had approximately 30 minutes before anyone was due home. There were several messages from different people. Some were nasty remarks that he got every day. Some were people asking for nudes.

He dropped the phone into the tub, watching as the lock screen became distorted then turned off completely. It felt like the most peace he had had his whole life.

He grabbed the razor blade and dug two deep slits in his wrists, drawing blood. He watched the red liquid drip down his arms for several seconds. It coated his palms and his fingertips. A drop fell into the water and made it pink. When he let his arms fall into the water, the color became darker and the phone disappeared. He winced but remembered that the pain was only temporary. It's effect, however, would last forever.

As long as forever was about to become for Calvin.

His head fell back onto the tub and he let his eyes close. He thought about every person that had bullied him. From the basketball players to the lab partner he had in biology freshman year he couldn't escape the taunting. So what if he didn't come from a rich family? So what if his parents didn't have exciting jobs? So what if he wasn't athletic or smart or one of the most attractive kids in the school?

Just as his consciousness was starting to fade he heard the front door close downstairs. No one was supposed to be home. No one was supposed to see Calvin until it was too late to do anything.

It wasn't supposed to happen that way.

He was tempted to sit up and try to disguise everything but he was going to see this out.He slid into the water and exhaled every ounce of oxygen in his body.

A knock came to the bathroom door. Then silence. Then another knock. "I hope you're not doing anything gross in there."

The door opened and a girl screamed. She reached into the bloody water and pulled Calvin's body into a sitting position. Only his limbs were limp, his lips were turning a light shade of purple, and his head bobbed around like a bobble head.

"Calvin. Calvin! Breathe! Come on!" She yanked him out of the tub, spilling his wet body onto the tile. She pressed her hands against his chest then forced air into his mouth. She continued this several more times before Calvin's body jerked and he spit water out onto his chin.

"Calvin, don't tell me you were trying to kill yourself."

Calvin didn't want to tell his sister that was the truth even though it was. He knew she knew and just wanted to hear it from him.

He stayed silent as she called for a paramedic. He didn't want to explain himself. That's why he did it when no one would be home.

It was just another example of how he was a disappointment. A failure.