nineteen // why we really burned out (ROMEO'S POV)

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Romeo's POV

After I realised how much I miss calling Mia mine, I decided that I was going to try and get her back. What was I thinking? Angels like her are very rare.

I bought her pink tulips, the flowers that she told me were her favourite.

I don't see why she wouldn't take me back, I mean, she really didn't want us to break up in the first place. And perhaps this time around, I'll ask her to be my girlfriend. That'll show her that I'm serious about us.

I can just imagine her green eyes becoming tearful as I ask her. She'll fling her arms around me so fast that I'll have to take a moment to calculate what's going on. And we'll kiss. It would be more than just a regular kiss. It'll be passionate. Maybe then we'll not go as slow as a slug. I want to make her feel like the hottest girl on the planet. Maybe we'll sleep together afterwards, our naked bodies shielded by her blankets. I'll embrace her all night. Then in the morning, I'll wake her up with a kiss. I'll make her pancakes while she's in the shower.

But I have to get her back first.

I knock on the door to her house. Martin opens the door and welcomes me in. He's not one of those overprotective brothers that some people have. He seems chill. I go upstairs and take a deep breath as I stand outside of her bedroom door. You can do this, you got this, I assure myself. I creak the door open slightly and peek in.

I'm taken aback by what I see. I see Max laying down on Mia's bed, with Mia on top of him, exchanging saliva. He helps take off her shirt. That's when I can't keep my cool. I stand in the doorway. Max notices me and tries to push Mia off him. She immediately snaps her head towards me and throws on her shirt.

"Romeo..." she says, biting her lip. Max gets up and leaves. It takes all of the willpower in me to not trip him over on his way out.

"I wouldn't have bought these if I knew you were preoccupied," I mutter bitterly, throwing her pink tulips into the trash. The girl slides her fingers through her long dark hair. She's so beautiful. She's wearing an oversized NASA t-shirt with leggings and big comfy socks. My chest aches as my eyes run over her body.

I pick the flowers from the trash and hand them to her. She takes them, barely able to hold them due to the quantity. She smells them and sighs.

"These are beautiful, Romeo. Thank you," she says sweetly. I want to smile at her cuteness and pull her into a tight embrace, but I'm pretty intent on making her feel bad. She puts the bouquet down. "I'm really sorry."

I exhale. "I didn't expect to see that."

The girl hangs her head and purses her lips. God, her lips. You wouldn't even believe how much I want to kiss her. I have to pinch myself to look away from her lips. I notice the goosebumps on her arms. She must be nervous.

"I thought you were done with me. I didn't think you'd come back for me," she tells me as she tries to warm her arms up. Her jade green eyes desperately try to avoid mine. I hate it when she doesn't look me in the eye. It makes me feel like we're so distant... it hurts like hell.

"So you went back to your ex boyfriend?" I question.

"I felt lonely! I thought that even if you didn't love me anymore, Max still would! I just craved affection and I was pretty sure I wouldn't get it from you," she argues, her eyes becoming slightly teary. She always put up a good fight. The only times I had seen her cry was when I was the reason behind it. I can feel the pain in my chest again.

I want to hold her in my arms.

I walk towards her slowly with open arms, but she backs away. "Mia, please."

"I've hurt you. I don't deserve you," she whispers. She hides her face with her hands. I still hold her anyway. Her hands eventually find their way around my neck and her fingers cruise through my hair. "Romeo I just--"

"I still love you. Never stopped."

The girl freezes in my arms. Her whole body becomes tense. I tear our bodies apart. She stares up into my eyes and tries to wipe away a tear that has not yet fallen.

"I've made a horrible mistake, haven't I?" Her voice is small. She walks out onto her balcony. I stare at the ground for a while before I follow her. She's crying uncontrollably. I don't touch her this time. She leans over the railings and stares up at the colourful sky. "Just curious," she says as she licks her lips. I chuckle at her little habit. "You wouldn't want to take me back now, would you?"

I look at her features beneath the setting sun. Her eyes are glossy. Her cheeks are wet with tears. Her lips look so kissable right now. I help her pull a lock of hair behind her ear, and my thumb lightly runs over her bottom lip. She has so much hope in her eyes now. I become weak.

"I love you, Mia, so much," I breathe out shakily. My voice cracks. "I want us to work out, honest to God. But..." I become weaker. My eyes fill with tears as my thumb still traces her bottom lip. "I don't want to call you my girlfriend if..." Her lips are so soft. I want to kiss them so bad. My voice is reduced to a whisper. "...if you're still in love with your ex."

The tears fall out of her eyes again. My eyes are still locked on her lips. She nods understandingly, and releases the breath she was holding. I take her hand in mine and kiss it. I leave her on the balcony.

***

Rant about your feels in the comments.

— sarah xox

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