dirty little secrets → rc

52: pretending

My heart had been through enough pain and not having any communication with Rafe was making me physically sick, I'd never missed someone this much, it was almost like my body was slowly shutting down without him. 

Waking up every day without him made reality seem so much harsher, I longed for his touch, to see his small smile and hear his light laughter. 

I was breaking my own heart, I was dying to talk to him but my pride wasn't giving up. 

But Rafe had made zero attempts to talk to me in four days which ultimately hurt the most, am I that easy to forget? or did he just simply never care about me in the first place? I couldn't tell which hurt more.  

I stared up to my ceiling trapped in my own thoughts until I felt a single tear escape my eye, I took that as my cue to sit up and wipe under my eyes not particularly wanting another breakdown today. 

My stomach rumbled so I sprinted downstairs and tugged the sleeves of my hoodie down. "How you doin" Spencer asked the moment I walked into the kitchen. This had been the same question he'd asked me about three times a day, but I appreciated his concern. 

"Same as the last time you asked Spence" I gave him a small smile that was unfortunately fake. "I appreciate you looking out for me, I really do" I sighed when my eyes started to water.

"Of course kiddo" he moved to ruffle my hair as I tried to slap his hand away but was too late. 

"You hungry?" I asked moving towards the walk-in pantry and scouting out anything good to eat. 

"Starving" he groaned as I stood on my tiptoes trying to scan the top shelf, I was considered tall for my age but not tall enough apparently. 

"Okay, we got options!" I yelled "We got pasta or-" I was rudely interrupted by the sound of a loud knock at the front door. "Not it!" I yelled with a smile. I heard his chair scrape against the ground and his footsteps walk out the room, "Fuck you" he huffed whilst walking out. 

Spencer had been gone for a couple of minutes and my curiosity was getting the better of me, I walked out of the kitchen to the entryway of the house. 

"Look man she doesn't want to see you" I heard Spencer say as I walked closer trying to spot who was on the other side of the door. I saw the door was slightly ajar with Spencer sticking his head out blocking my view.

"You're fucking lucky I don't sock you right now for hurting my baby sister," Spencer said sternly and I instantly knew who was behind the door. 

"Man I just want to apologize let me do that at least, it's all I ask" I heard Rafe beg my brother who hadn't noticed my presence yet. "I just want to see her and apologize, I can't lose her" he mumbled. 

"Spence" I whispered from across the room making him whip his head to face me with a surprised look. 

My own expression could only be described as the look of heartache, this was the first time I'd heard his voice in days. 

"Is that her! Willow!" Rafe yelled out "Let me in!" he tried to push the door open but Spencer kept his body weight behind the door forcing it closed. 

"Spence please" I whispered walking closer to the door "Just give me a minute that's all I need" I almost begged and gave my brother my best puppy dog eyes. 

He eventually gave in and opened the door wider but I was still distanced enough to avoid looking at Rafe.

"You need to get your shit together Cameron, if you hurt her again I'll round kick your ass" Spencer said seriously. I couldn't hear Rafe's response but I shuffled forward pushing Spencer out of the way, "Leave us alone I promise I'll be okay" I said softly with a small smile. I watched Spencer walk away from me with an acute nod.