Lilac's Lies

35

I could feel the sun creeping its way onto my skin, like a glow of happiness.

I kept my eyes closed, however, simply basking in the feeling. I was more comfortable than I usually was in the mornings, a lot more comfortable. There wasn't the acid like feeling of panic in my blood today. Instead, it was like my whole body was completely relaxed. It was heavy, in the best way. Like I was made of liquid gold.

I stretched my body, feeling the soft sheets against my skin, all of my skin. My eyes shot open quickly, and I looked down to find my body naked, prompting me to cover myself with the sheets. It was with a hurry that I glanced around the room, the events of last night coming back quickly like I had been drunk while they happened and I had to fight for the memories. I looked beside me, seeing an empty spot in the bed where Roman had slept beside me. At the thought of him, the feelings that had erupted through me last night filled me once again. And this time, I didn't panic. I didn't want to run. I knew it wasn't a mistake.

A smile found its way on my lips, deep enough I could feel it in my cheeks. Last night, it had been so perfect. It felt so right. With Roman it had been easy and effortless, like breathing or laughing. There was no awkwardness, there was no tension. There was none of the things that I felt when I was with Jesse, even in the beginning when I thought our relationship was good. But, quite simply, after experiencing last night with Roman...

Well, let's just say that Jesse didn't compare. In any way.

"I'd say good morning, but it's already the afternoon," I heard his voice say, causing my head to swivel in his direction with the smile still shining on my face.

Roman was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His chest was bare again, the ridges of the muscles I had finally been able to touch disappearing into the waistbands of his grey sweatpants. I didn't stop my eyes this time, they took their time soaking in every detail. When I finally found my way back up to his face, his eyebrows were raised, as if he was surprised about what he had found in his bed.

"You know, Lilac, I never know what to expect with you." Roman told me, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, becoming self-conscious at his words. Did I not meet his expectations for the morning after sex?

Roman dragged his eyes around my face again, before a smile formed on his own lips. I saw his tongue flash over his teeth, as if he was trying to debate what words to use. "I kind of expected a repeat of what happened when we kissed. You know, when you ran out of my apartment yelling this was a mistake at me."

I felt a blush rise on my cheek as I remembered my actions, bring the blankets up to my face as if to hide the red that was now painted on me. I heard Roman laugh, the sound was like music, and I waited until it died out before poking by head back into the air.

"I..." I  started, but faltered after the single syllable. I couldn't explain my strange behaviours even if I tried.

"Lilac, I was just kidding. It's okay. I know things are messy right now," Roman told me, and he smiled again. I looked towards it, feeling a surge of happiness in my stomach that caused me to smile right back at him.

"Listen," Roman continued, his smile growing even larger. "There's food out in the kitchen. I left some clothes on the bed for you, they'll be big but it will be better than that dress you were wearing last night. Come out when you're ready, okay?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling shy as if Roman hadn't seen almost every inch of my body last night. He rolled his lips together, he seemed to be fighting a smile that wouldn't fall from his face. He looked at me for a second longer, his eyes moving around me like he was taking a picture in his mind, before he shook his head once again and closed the door.