Lilac's Lies

24

"Lilac." Roman said gently, and I looked back towards him. He was watching me, and due to his concerned expression, I had no doubt he was able to see the tears that I was trying to hide.

I only looked at him, waiting for what he was going to say.

"Tell me what's going on." He said, taking another step towards me.

"I already told you." I said quietly, suddenly feeling the embarrassment of my actions creep through me.

I had come here and yelled at Roman, after all, assuming he was trying to play mind games with me. It turned out, he had just noticed that I wasn't the girl I used to be.

I knew that I wasn't, of course. I've known for a long time that I've left that outgoing, kind and gentle girl behind, but it was bitter to know that someone else had known too. Being told you've changed for the worst was like being told you've made a mistake using a permanent marker. You've already made the mistake, praying no one noticed, but there's not much you can do about it now.

"No, you haven't." Roman said. He took another step towards me, he reached out and laid his hand on my arm, looking down at the marks that I prayed he forgot about. "What happened? Who did this?"

"What? No one." I lied, trying to strengthen my voice which had been coming out so quiet.

"Don't lie." Roman said in a low voice, looking up and catching my gaze. The same look he had in his eyes last night, right before he knocked his opponent out, was showing now.

"It was an accident." I lied again, looking away from him.

"What kind of an accident?" Roman asked me, narrowing his eyes like he didn't believe me.

I felt the blood rush from my face as I tried to search for a lie to spin into a believable story. I wasn't as good at lying when I had to think on my feet, it was much easier when a lie has been already prepared for you. When you knew exactly what you had to say, and how you had to say it. When you've covered those holes, those gaps in your words like a wall with paint, so no one could see them.

"I was about to fall down the stairs," I said finally, all of the words were in a single breath. "And, Jesse had to grab my arm so I didn't fall down. I almost went down, so he had to pull me back up. He didn't mean to do it so hard."

I didn't look at Roman's face, even though I wanted to. I wanted to see if he bought my lie, but I looked down at my feet instead. I counted each of my breaths until he spoke, and he didn't until I reached the number four.

"Okay." Roman said finally, and I snapped my head up to look at him. I had expected to him to push father, to ask questions. I hadn't expected him to accept my lie so quickly. 

I couldn't read his face. His mouth said one thing, but his eyes were saying something else entirely.

"It's the truth." I added, forcing myself to look him in the eyes.

"If that's what you want me to think the truth is, then okay." Roman told me, letting me know that I wasn't completely home safe.

We stood there awkwardly, both of us staring at each other. There was only an inch between us, our bodies were almost touching. Roman still had that dangerous look in his eye, and for a minute I wondered if I should be scared of him. It was a thought that went nowhere, like a dead-end street, because there wasn't a single fibre in my being that was scared of Roman. Physically, anyway.

There were some parts of Roman that scared me, simply because I had the feeling that he could see the cracks in my painted mask of lies, he saw the distressed paint when no one else was able to.