Chapter 7 "Every way you, feel, is okay"

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Around 11 pm, Lucy woke up to a lot of clapping and cheering people on the TV.

She opened her eyes slightly when she started noticing a few things. First of all, the sounds were made by a football game of the Lakers. That was casual. Second, when she threw a look on the clock,she noticed that her sleep schedule was completely ruined by now. That was also almost causal. But one thing wasn't. The hand, which was resting on her shoulder. Tim's hand. That was definitely not causal. But that didn't mean she didn't like it. The warmth of his touch sent a nice chill through her body and some feeling of safety she could only feel with him.

A little wreid, too, was just the fact that she laid on the couch. He must've carried her there after they fell asleep while they were hugging. But why the couch? Why not the bed? Why the hand on her shoulder?

It was only when she started getting really awake that she noticed something was off with him. He was staring at the TV but not focusing on it. His eyes weren't traveling or following the movement of his favorite player. They were just staring. His mind seemed to be far away, but the grip of his hand stayed tight.

"Tim?"

Lucy asked, sleepy.

He didn't react. He didn't really seem to be next to her, at least not with his mind. Like he was in another world somewhere deep in his head. She wanted to get him out there, so she tried something.

Tim knew how bad overthinking was. Well, he hadn't known it too well until five years ago. But the better he knew Lucy, the better he got to know overthinking. Lucy was a bad overthinker. Even the littlelest things could make her do it for hours. The first time he had found her in that state was when she had just been at the Mid-Wilshire station for a few months. He had found Lucy sitting against a wall, knees pulled up to her chest, her whole body bumbling.

She had been in another world. Her eyes focused on some white spot at the wall, not traveling when Tim went over to her and stopped with his fingers in front of her eyes.But she didn't react at it. Nothing.

Tim slightly grabbed her by her arm, as she shot him a brief look, and Tim couldn't believe it, started crying. Not just that. She started talking.

"I would've had another option, right? I would've had another option. I should've talked to him longer. I would've had another option. I would've had another option. I would've had another option..."

Tim believed that she was ready to go on for hours like this, so he took her chin and made her look into his face.

"Lucy, whatever you did, I am sure there wouldn't have been another way. You are a good cop. You think before you do something. You go through all options which are somehow possible, and if that was the only one and so you did it, it was the right thing to do."

He badly hoped that she would stop repeating herself, and to his surprise, she did. She stopped and cried into his arms.

Their first hug. Their first step. The first step to a wonderful friendship. Or to even more?

Later, Hailey explained that there had been a hostage situation with a child and that she had to shoot the guy who held the kid hostage. That he died, and that she was a bad overthinker.

From that day on, he had helped Lucy to get out of it when she started it again for no reason.

But now, he was the one who was doing it.

He had to stop the guy who had done these terrible things to her. He actually wanted to kill him, but he was still clear enough to know he couldn't. He felt bad for her, but he shouldn't. She needed help. She was the victim. Maybe exactly this was the problem. If he had been hurt, he wouldn't care that much. But her? His best friend? The sunshiny happy TO who always had a smile on her face and a few nice words left for everyone? The person who had become the light of his life? No. That wasn't acceptable.

He had to help her. But how? She hadn't told him about her diabetis, that wasn't a good decision. She hadn't reported the assault from him. There was no evidence for it. No witness. So how could they do it? How could they get him? Let him fall into a trap? No. He didn't want Lucy to be in danger. Letting him tell it with a hidden mic? No, he would be too smart for that. Telling Grey? Could end bad. Geez! They had to be able to do anything! Just what?

Tim felt a slight touch under his chin. Then his mind came back to reality, and he saw Lucy with a worried but soft expression on her face.

"Tim?"

She repeated and saw his eyes meeting hers. Good sign.

"Yes?"

"You ok?"

"I should be, ain't I? I mean, you are the one who-"

He stopped himself. No. He couldn't say it. It would just become more real with that. Lucy has been raped. The best thing in his life had to go through so much pain in her life. Still had. No, he wouldn't accept that so fast.

But he had to. Because she was the one who talked it out and let it get real.

"Was raped? I know. But his is also a hard situation for you. You didn't know this side of me. This part of my history. This dark part. And it must be a shock for you, something you have to realize first. And that's okay. I should have told you and not left you in the dark about it. It is okay to feel overwhelmed by that. There is no right reaction to it, Tim. And to be honest, yours was even great! You gave me a bit of time, but it still made me talk to you so that we could find a solution or so that you at least know about it. You did good, Tim. Really."

In this speech, it wasn't clear if Lucy or Tim had learned more about their feelings in it. Tim had calmed by what Lucy said and eased at hearing that it was ok how he felt.

Lucy had realized what she felt and had been able to express it during it. That was food because she had realized that she wanted to do something against Carson, and Tim could help.

After having dinner to get Lucy's blood sugar under control and because they were hungry from exhaustion, they sat down on the couch again.

A few minutes passed, but them Lucy talked, put that, what had been hanging in the air since her speech.

"I want to do something against Carson, Tim. And I'd love for you to help me... Would you?"

He didn't have to think long.

"Of course, I will."

And with that, they started planning.


Authors note:

Sorry that there hasn't been an update in such a long time. Had a little writers block on this story but now I'm back on it. I will promise that in the next chapters will happen a bit more. Hope you enjoy this story so far!

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