The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

Chapter 38 - The risks of falling

a/n: let me know what you think :)

RECAP

"Tallie?" Eric called as he nuzzled my temple.

"Mmh?" He smiled at my half asleep response. Yeah, I was starting to doze off, yes. Not my fault, his rubbing my arm up and down was too soothing and it just conciliated my sleep.

Eric neared my ear and whispered huskily: "I love you."

CHAPTER 38 - THE RISKS OF FALLING

ERIC'S POV

I watched her as she slowly looked up at me, clearly confused. I didn't mean to say it, well, I meant it and I'm glad I could finally let it out, but ... well, honestly, I knew she was half asleep so I was pretty convinced she wouldn't hear me, not entirely anyway.

Turns out she was still awake. She did hear me. She did hear those three magic words and now she was looking at me wide eyed, clearly taken off guard. I said nothing, studying her, just to see whether those words had pleased her or simply freaked her out. I should have shut up, I know I should have, but tonight was so different from the other times we were together and I've been swallowing those words for so long, that now keeping them was only hurting my throat.

What happened tonight, I was honestly flustered, but relieved that she wasn't that freaked out. Honestly, it took me a while to get rid of that little problem, especially as, while in the shower, my perverted mind kept reminding me that that was the exact place where she undressed, where she was completely naked every morning and every night ... that only made my erection harder to get rid of.

Yeah, I know it's not nice to think of such things when it's about one like her, but ... hey, I'm a man, I do have my needs too and she drives me insane. I could add that I've been on short since a while, considering that since I started getting closer to her, I cut it off with one-night-stands, well, I had already, let's just say I cut it off with having fallbacks with my ex ... better?

I've been wanting Natalie for so long, that now it doesn't even seem true that she's right here with me and I am constantly panicking over whether or when will I screw it all up, because I know I will sooner or later, it's second nature for me, because life never goes the way I planned it.

Actually, this blissful period I'm having, with the girl of my dreams finally with me, my dad reaching out to me, a renewed relationship with my brother ... it's so unexpected and so happy that I can't help but think it'll end soon. It's like I'm just a fictional character in some novel and the writer is simply dead set on making my life a living Hell, well, in that case, thanks a bunch, buddy!

I live with the constant feeling that this bliss will soon come to an end. Every time I'm with Natalie I forget all my problems, but then I go back to that place I should call home and I remind myself that all of this is just an illusion. Till that bastard isn't secured behind bars, I can't be completely sure my life won't derail like a mad train again. It did years ago when my so called mother married Robert, I have the feeling it will again.

Or maybe I'm just too pessimistic. Because now I look at my princess and I see a bright future for us. Yes, I should slow down, because she is not used to this, but I will make it work. As long as it's up to me, my princess will have the fairy tale she deserves.

Now, inhaling deeply, I opened my mouth to say something and justify the words I let out just a few moments ago, but honestly, I had no idea what to say, and her not reacting wasn't helping either, because her look was blank, like she thought nothing of it. I would have understood if she'd gone pale, possibly thinking I was rushing too much and she was scared, but she wasn't doing neither saying anything and it made me even more anxious. Yet I had to mend in some way, I didn't want to pressure her, after all, she's only been warming up to me in these weeks, it's completely new for her, and she used to consider me the evilest devil dwelling in this world.