Secrets Until Someday

Chapter 23

Brooks POV

Laying here next to Sydney I can't help but stare. Even with her hair a mess and no makeup, she's the prettiest girl I have ever seen. I watch her wrinkle up her forehead and I can tell she's thinking about something.

Whatever it is, has her battling with the voice in her head. If I had to guess it was about me, us, and everything that's happened. I can't say that I blame her but I don't know what else I can do to make her trust me again.

When I'm with Sydney I feel like I can sink into life, I can be my whole self and not the Brooks I'm expected to be. I know what happened in the past still eats at her but I am so head over heels for her I'll do anything I can to show her I'm serious this time. I never realized how shitty the whole situation was before when I left until I got some distance on it.

I think back to that night, the night that everything changed between us, every detail is burned into my brain and I've replayed it more times than I can count. I remember the fear of my feelings for her tearing through my veins and I knew I was in too deep. The conversation with my father after he caught me sneaking back in was the final breaking point. I knew I couldn't give Sydney what she wanted, and like a coward, I ran.

The pieces play in my mind while I watch her and I flinch at the memory ...just as I had turned to close the door behind me the lamp next to his chair clicked on. I froze in my tracks.

Dad. Shit.

I shot him an "I guess I'm caught smile" and surprisingly he laughed it off and pointed to the couch.

"Sit down for a minute, son." He said to me.

I did as he said but I was not prepared for what was coming.

"You know, I'm not upset you snuck out. You've been in college a year now, you're not used to having to answer to anyone so it's okay." He takes a swig of the dark liquor in his glass, "This time. Let's not make a habit out of it."

Thinking that was the end of his lecture I said, " No problem Dad, I'm gonna..." when he begins again, " and one more thing..." he stares at me intently and suddenly there is sweat gathering on my palms, I know this look and its one that usually comes before a conversation that I don't typically like.

"I want to remind you Brooks that your mother and I have done a great deal so that you have the future that you deserve. That you are respected by your community and have a reputation that others admire. We've spent a great deal of time and money investing in you and that future. This could all be yours someday, you know?" and he looks around the living room of my childhood home.

Not sure what he's getting at I try to hurry him to his point, "I know Dad, I have always appreciated that but with all due respect what's that have to do with me sneaking out of the house?" I chuckle slightly confused.

"It has to do with who you were sneaking out of this house to meet." He said with more conviction in his voice. "I'm not stupid son, and I was a teenage boy once too. I see how you watch that girl, whether you're here in our home or at a basketball game."

I felt like the air had been pulled from my lungs. My mind raced with confusion. I can't believe he knew. Before I could spiral in my head any further he continued talking, "I never said anything because I imagined it was a fling and I was okay with that."

"Okay...so what's the problem now?" my eyes barely reach his face, I feel like every ounce of color has drained from my skin. I know in my bones where this conversation is going. 

He clears his throat, "Brooks, girls like Sydney are the girls have a fling with, they are fun, wild, and a little unpredictable...but they are not girls that you settle down with."

I try and swallow down the anger arising in my chest. The words that lay on the tip of my tongue are not ones my father would approve of. My ears are ringing hearing the way he is talking about Sydney, he doesn't even fucking know her.

Words keep coming out of his mouth but I'm more focused on keeping my anger at bay than listening to what he's saying, "She's pretty yes, and funny, I'll give her that, but she has no idea what she wants to do with her future outside of parading around in a cheerleading skirt. She is reckless, a wild card, and is not the right fit to represent this family or our company. So, the next time you want to risk your future for someone make sure you realize exactly what you will be giving up."

I stood there speechless when I finally met my dad's eyes. The words came out almost as a whisper I feel powerless against him but I can't help but ask, "And what if I keep seeing her?"

He puffs his chest and exhales a long breath, "If you see a future as the owner of Dawson Development Group or as a member of this family you will rethink that very carefully son. I will not allow some girl to derail years of hard work and a respectable reputation."

His words were like a punch to the gut. I knew he was serious, I knew that everything my dad and my grandad had worked for would stop at me if I didn't give in to his request. Hell, I wouldn't put it past him to quit paying for college, my dad was ruthless like that when he didn't get what he wanted. It's how he had become so successful. Once upon a time, it was something I respected him for but right now at this moment, I hated him for it. With the ultimatum of my family and my future hanging in the balance, my fear won. 

"Yes, sir," I say back to him with my eyes on the ground.

He stands from his chair and walks towards me, putting his hand on my shoulder and I stiffen.

"I'm just looking out for you Brooks, it's my job as your father."

I should have called Sydney right then and told her everything but I didn't. I just couldn't...I just...

"Yo...anyone in there? You are silent and staring." Sydney begins snapping her fingers in front of my face pulling me out of my memory.

"Sorry, just thinking. Well, remembering...I guess."

"I remember it too," she says back with a softness that makes my heart hurt.

"No...not just that, why I...well what made me...leave. End it. Not call or whatever." I say.

"It was over for you, I get it. You had another girlfriend back at school and I was just some unfinished business." She abruptly spits out, and even though she doesn't move a muscle I feel her distance herself from me.

Confusion falls over me, what? Another girlfriend? What the hell is she talking about?

"What are you talking about? I never had a girlfriend. I left because of a conversation I had with my dad. He was practically threatening to cut me off forever if I kept things going with you because apparently, he had known the whole time." I confess.

"He...knew..." Sydney asks softly, confusion now covering both of our faces.

"Yeah, after that night, he caught me sneaking in and we had this big talk. Well, he talked and I listened. He basically told me I had to choose, our family and the company or you."

Sydney just stared at me her big crystal blue eyes even bigger than they normally were.

"Why did you think I had a girlfriend?" I ask.

"Um...well..because your dad told me you did...." And right in front of us all of the pieces finally fell into place.