SMILE ✔︎

(3)

part 3 <3 unedited

R O Y C E P O V

I couldn't sleep... all I've done is stay up and clean, the counters somehow getting more and more spotless each time.

Sometimes I would open the door to make sure she was okay, and just look at her for a second...

Watching her.. seem so peaceful without me.

I knew the girls were coming over later to say goodbye to her.. but I wasn't ready. I couldn't have her go..

I just stared at her for a while every time, but now.. I come in and shes awake.

I wasn't prepared, my cheeks grow red and I tap my foot against the ground out of stress. "I- I didn't mean to wake you-"

She doesn't say anything, she just stands up and walks to the bathroom, her cuts have obviously healed as much as they can overnight.

She takes off her shirt, covering her chest and looking at her cuts in the mirror. "Goddamnit Kel." I mumble, looking at the ground.

I only try to sneak peaks when she's not looking... she still looked so beautiful.

The most beautiful woman I've ever seen.. and will ever see.

She was perfect..

"What?" She asks, groaning. "I know you don't find me pretty... and I'm embarrassed of everything I've done so it doesn't matter anymore!"

I remember it so clearly, the face she gave me when she saw..

She still looks like it every day, shocked and pained whenever she sees me...

But still.. I think she's so pretty. What does she mean that I don't?

She should never feel embarrassed, every single thing she's done I've loved with my entire heart...

A tear slips down my cheek.. "Kelca..." I mumble, taking a deep breath and looking straight at the ground. "you're so pretty.." I say genuinely, my tears  being shown through my voice.

She drops her arms, her boobs falling down her chest. I swallow. She leans down to grab her shirt and She walks towards me as she puts it on, before she looks up at me.

"I don't appreciate liars." She says sternly, walking to her nightstand and taking a sip of the water I got her. It was still cold from an hour and a half ago..

"God!" I say, pounding my fist against the wall and walks towards her. I can't handle it anymore. I can't.. I can't have her saying this stupid shit acting like I dont love her. I know she doesn't think I do, and I feel terrible.. but I am not gonna fucking let her say I dont.

I grab her hand, pulling her toward me and grabbing onto her waist, forcing her jaw up to look at me with my other hand. "Shut up for once, sweetheart!" I say, scoffing and looking around the room to gather my words. My foot taps against the floorboards still..

I was touching her...

I turn back to her, squeezing her waist and sighing. "I love you. I know you don't think it but I'm not gonna let you fucking say I don't, you don't get to choose my last words to you. I know you're gonna leave any day now and you're the love of my life, so I need to make it count and not have your petty shit ruining me trying to get you back!" I scream, and her eyebrows furrow. She raises her hand up, and slaps me straight across the face.

It stung,

but I wanted it.

I wanted her to show me how she felt instead of the silent treatment. Instead of her putting herself down.