The Bite of Winter

Asha

Right after Jon learns the truth

Asha heard Jon's knock at the door. It had become their near-nightly ritual. He would wait until the Castle had gone silent, then he would come to her. Part of her wondered if he was still ashamed of what they were doing. He would sneak in and out as if he were a maiden hiding their relationship from his lord father.

She could remember the conversation that they had the night before as he pulled his breeches back on. "You know, you don't have to sneak out every night." She has said while watching him.

He gave her a small smile. "I'm not sneaking out." He replied. His eyes darted to the floor. He was a horrid liar.

"We aren't doing anything wrong. You northern's seem to think that anything that falls out of your code of honor is a sin." She stood and walked towards him. He tried to keep his eyes on hers. He always tried to be perfectly polite when they weren't in the act, never allowing his eyes to stray or be untoward. Often she found it rather endearing.

She now stood directly in front of him. "But honor and morality aren't the same things. A man could kill a million innocent people and still be deemed honorable, but that doesn't make it right. Just like what we are doing, may not be honorable to some, but there is nothing morally wrong with it."

She slowly put her arms around his neck pulling him down to her. She brought her lips to his ear and whispered "If what we are doing is wrong, then why would the gods allow it to feel so good?" She began to nibble on his ear gently. That had been enough to convince him to stay for a few more hours.

Now she opened to door for him. Something was wrong with him. His face was tired and his shoulders slumped as if he no longer had the strength to hold them up. Ghost, who would normally wait outside during Jon's visits stood next to him. "Jon?" She asked softly.

"Can I come in, please?" His eyes were full of desperation. 

She stepped out of his way, allowing him to enter and take a seat on her bed, Ghost followed at his heels. His head fell into his hands. She closed and bolted the door behind her before taking a seat next to him. "What happened?"

He opened his mouth but closed it again as if he didn't know what to say. His brow furrowed for a moment as if he was trying to organize his thought. Ghost whined softly and placed his head on Jon's knees. "Robb just told me Eddard Stark isn't my father." Jon rasped. 

"What?" Asha knew that more often than not, bastards were not considered to be members of the family, but no matter what Lord Stark would be Jon's father. Robb also seemed to genuinely care for his brother, why would he tell him such a thing?

"My true parents are Rhaegar Targaeryn and Lyanna Stark." He lifted his head from his hands and met her gaze. It was the gaze of a man who had just found out that his whole life was a lie. "She ran away with him and they wed. I'm... I'm the heir to the Iron Throne..." His voice trailed off. 

"Jon, how do you know that this is true?" 

"Robb told me that Howland Reed showed him documents proving my parentage." 

Asha stayed silent. Honorable Ned Stark had kept a Targaryen hidden after ensuring the destruction of their line during Robert's Rebellion. Ned Stark had forsaken his honor to do the right thing and save his nephew. 

"Ramsay Bolton has Arya, and Robb said that I'm the only person who can reunite Westeros to save her. I agreed to save my sister, but I don't want to be king." Jon admitted. 

"Why can't Robb unite the North against the Boltons?" 

"He said that too many Northern houses have declared for House Bolton. He has no ties to the Vale or the Free Folk, and they will be needed if we are to win the battles to come. That is why he needs me, I'm the only one with a claim that stretched past the North." Asha's hand found its way to his. "I love my sister and my brother. Im willing to do this for them, but gods, I failed at being Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, how am I supposed to be king? And if we beat Ramsay, then we will have to beat Tywin, Joffery, and the White Walkers."

Jon nearly never talked about the White Walkers, but the rest of the Night's Watch did. She had never seen any proof of their existence but seeing the fear in Jon's eyes now was enough to make her believe. 

"I-I know that it is selfish, but I'm so tired of fighting," Jon whispered, turning his gaze to Ghost. 

"You have every right to be tired. But, you need to keep fighting. I cannot even imagine what is going through your mind right now, but I trust in your ability to lead. You're a good man, and it's about time that a good man was on that damn throne."

Ghost licked Jon's burnt hand. Jon remained silent. She could see in the way he carried himself that he needed time to adjust to his new reality and grow into the role of king. But she also knew that he would be a better king than the realm had seen in at least three generations. She had faith in him, even if he didn't quite have faith in himself yet.