Mama: They just better showing all these gays and transgenders on TV all the time now. It didn't use to be like this! Can't even watch TV or a movie without seeing that mess.
Me: I thought you supported the LGBTQ community.
Mama: I don't support it, but I'm not necessarily against it. It's not be business what people do. I just don't want it all on my face.
Daddy: I'm just glad y'all are old enough now that this wasn't on TV back then polluting your minds. Even the cartoons be having gay couples.
Me: It's just meant to be inclusive and teach kids that their peers may come from different types of families.
Mama: Well I don't like it! When I was a kid, if you were gay, it was a secret. Even if it was rumored, you'd wouldn't come out like folks do now...flaunting it all over the place.
Me: That's messed up.
Mama: I'm just saying! I don't want to see it! I was watching something the other day and these men just started kissing, taking each other's clothes off. I was disgusted.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing from my parents. I'd never heard them speak like this before and to be honest, it made me feel like shit. It made me feel like something was wrong with me.
*incoming iMessage from A*
A: Hi! What are you doing?
Me: Nothing. Wassup?
A: I wanna see you...
I didn't respond. I left her on read all day. And I felt like shit for it, but I needed time to think. I understand now why people don't come out. Why they hide their true feelings for people and their desires. It hits different when it's your own family dogging you, whether they know it or not.
I don't even know what I am. I also didn't want to lead Arielle on. She's secure in herself. I'm not. Maybe I'm just here for a good time. That's not fair to her though.
I went to my room and grabbed my backpack and
and keys.
Mama: You're not staying for dinner?
Me: Nah. I got something to do tonight.
Mama: Okay, bye! Love you!
I hit her with a dry ass "love you too" before heading out the door. I drove back to my dorm in complete silence. My head was spinning and I was on the verge of tears. When I arrived, I could hear my roommate in the shower. I tossed my backpack on the floor and plopped on the couch in our suite.
Brittany: Hey! I didn't know you were back! Sorry if I was making hella noise in the bathroom.
Me: It's cool!
-7pm
*incoming call from A*
Me: *ignores*
*incoming text from A*
A: I'm really not tryna be annoying. But I'm worried about you. Are you okay? You just stopped texting.
-7:52pm
A: Nia, ima leave you alone after this. You don't have to ghost me. Just talk to me like an adult.
*incoming text from Mrs. Grant*
"Good evening, Nia. Would you be able to watch the boys tomorrow night from 7-10pm? We have a ceremony we need to attend. I apologize that it's last minute. We just found out about it today. We'll pay extra, if so. Let me know ASAP so we can explore other options if we need to! Thank you so much! 😊"
"FUCK" There's no way I'm turning down this money, but I'll have to see Arielle. Which is what makes this whole shit complicated. I can't avoid her. I gotta get my shit together before tomorrow.
Me: I can do it! I'll be there around 6:45.
Mrs. Grant: Thank you so much!
*The Next Day*
Me: Hi Mrs. Grant! Where are the boys?
Mrs. Grant: They're upstairs in their room playing Fortnite. They may not be down for awhile. To be honest, just let them play to their hearts desire! They had a phenomenal week at school and their behavior has been so good at home, that I told them they could play for as long as they wanted to tonight. And that'll make it easy for you. I'm having pizza delivered in about thirty minutes. The driver tip is on the kitchen counter.
Me: Awesome! Well you guys have a good night!
