HIS BEAUTIFUL SECRET (completed)

CHAPTER 16 - LETTING ME IN

I sat there for what seemed like forever, dazed and confused. Jake had told me we would meet his biological father and my mind could not wrap itself around the words.

His biological father had left his mom pregnant and broke. It was his current father who raised him, gave him everything he had and made him the man he was today. How was I supposed to respond? What was I supposed to say?

Not sure where to start, I let my thoughts spill out. I couldn't help but notice that Jake had become tense ever since he dropped the bomb on me. His eyes stayed fixed straight ahead, his face void of any expression. He was holding his breath, waiting to see what my response would be. He had told me I was about to get a front-row seat to one of the most vulnerable moments of his life.

I was a little hesitant, "Jake, do your parents know?"

"My dad doesn't, but my mom does."

"What did she say about it?"

"It upset her when I first brought it up. After I explained my reasons and begged her not to tell dad, she agreed."

"She told you what you wanted to know, no questions asked?"

"She gave me the basic info, told me she understood why I had to do this but said she wished that I wouldn't. Then she begged me to never tell my dad because it would hurt him too much."

This was such a sad situation. Jake had to hide everything from everyone. No one should have to live that way. My next question made me nervous. I looked away, not able to bear seeing his expression when he heard it.

"Jake, why do you need to meet him?" There was a long hesitation before he responded. I reminded myself to be thankful that he was opening up, letting me into his world.

"My dad has given me everything I could want. He has loved me and been an amazing father to me. I know that should be enough, but there hasn't been a single day that has gone by that I have not wondered. It crushes me to think my real father took off and left me like he was taking out the trash. He never even looked back, he never cared and I have to know why I wasn't good enough. I have to know if I look like him, if I laugh like him, if I have any part of him."

My heart was aching. As he spoke, I could hear the pain in his voice even though he was working hard to keep his composure. How could anyone hurt such an amazing human being? He has such a beautiful soul, I didn't understand how anyone could "throw him away" as he referred to it.

After a few more moments of silence, he continued, "I have to know if I have the part of him that left me. What if there is a cold-hearted person hiding inside of me waiting to escape?"

That was his true fear, the force that was driving him to find this man at all costs. The thought probably kept him up at night. No longer able to restrain myself, I unbuckled myself and moved over to him. I pulled his hand into mine and rested it in my lap, laying my head on his shoulder. If I contributed nothing else to the journey he was on, I would make him understand how special he was.

I wasn't sure how I would convey that, but the one thing that kept coming to my mind was what Jenny's mom told me. That was weird, I know, but when I was at my lowest, somehow it was her words that brought me a little piece. With my head still on his shoulder, I tried to explain what was in my heart.

"Jenny's mom once told me that each of us has a purpose. She said that when I was still in my mother's womb God knew me and before I was born he set me apart, do you think that's true?"

Jake thought for a moment before responding, "I'm not sure Sky, I hope it is though."

"Well, I have thought about it for a while and I think it is, I think it's true for you too. No matter how your life started, it started for a very specific purpose. You had to get here, by whatever means necessary because you are amazing and you have so much to bring to this world."