Types of tears (COMPLETED)

chapter 3

I heard complaints around the classroom. Everyone was basically saying the same thing, that they didn't want to do it.

"I don't want to do it!"

"It's going to be so weird"

"Why can't we just do a book report?"

"What if someone contagious us?"

"What if they died before the 3 mouths"

"And if they don't want to talk"

Everyone was saying something different while I was just thinking of how to get over this, maybe I could pick someone that's in their last days do they died before I get to talk to them and have an excuse about not doing it. Just as I was about to tell Mr Steve my perfect plan he spoke.

"My friend is the detector of the hospital, and he let me do this, giving me the names of the people who are willing to do this, and that won't be able to pass any diseases to any of you"

Some sigh out loud, but I couldn't help but think it wouldn't be a bad idea to get contagion with something that would kill me, I mean I'm going to die anyway, why wait? I lean my head on my desk and listen to everyone, hoping someone could take some sense into Mr Steve.

"Everyone in the hospital has agreed to do this. And I already have people paired up with everyone here, I thought it'd be a good idea."

"To what? See how people died and write about it?" A guy said making some others nod with him.

"No, hopefully no will die, but I wanted all you to experiment what life feels like when you have very little hope of living a long life." I look down, I already know. What's the point of doing this?

"And to be able to appreciate more the things you guys have right now, that other people don't" I roll my eyes, so he's trying to make us value life? This almost makes me laugh, I have parents that don't love me, I have no friends, no social life. I have a list of things wrong with me, and I'm never going to be good enough for anyone. That's what I'm supposed to appreciate? I ignore the rest of what his saying about his planes and price he's going to give to the winner and just look blankly at my book, I didn't want any part if this anymore.

I hear the bell ring and get up and rush out of class, I didn't want to be in there. It sucks that the only things that I like is now something I hate. I grunt in my mind and walk to my next class, it was math.

I skip head in my day. Not paying attention to anything other than this stupid report and a way to get out if it, I feel more and more stressed ever second, just thinking about what I was going to do, I didn't want to talk to a dying person, I didn't want to hear their problems, I already have enough as it is. After the school-day was over I walk out, this time only look at the ground as I make my way to the buss, I could feel my brain start to over thinking everything, I take of my glasses and message the spot between my eyebrows, I didn't want to have a panic attack in the middle of the street, I didn't want to have people looking at me and just supposing things. I didn't want my school to see me like this. I breathe in slowly trying to calm down, refusing to think of anything before I got home.

I get in the bus and sit down next to this guy that had his earphones in, so he wouldn't pay attention to me and I put my hands between my legs and hold my breath, I don't want to think, I don't want to have any attack out in public, but even if I tried not to think I still felt the sensation in my body, the confusion and panic of not know what to do or what to say, I squeeze my eyes shut, holding it all in until I was safe in my room. I dig my nails into my skin trying to concentrate on the pain instead of what I was feeling, my breathing was starting to rise and eyes started to get warm and fuzzy. "Please" I think to myself "please!"