Legends From The Highlands: Love-Locked

Part 5

Even though I did not really feel anything towards Jonathan, Florentina's words wounded me.  Clearly, in some way, she had heard of my bethrotal to him and she had come here to ensure it did not happen but what bothered me the most was the fact that the Earl seemed clueless of this and Jonathan would pick her over me anyday.

"So for how long do you intend to stay here Florentina?"asked the Countess as she stirred her tea to dissolve the sugar cube.

"Well, Jon is getting married in less than a year and I simply must be present for the festivities leading up to the special day."she answered with a flattery smile.

"And why do you feel the need to do so?"asked the Countess, clearly not intrigued by this unexpected guest.

"Jon and I, we are good friends and I want to make sure his wife knows how to treat him well... not that I am saying she does not."she said as she raised her eyebrow at me.  My brain ached to find the perfect insult to ramble at her but my thoughts were blank. Florentina was beautiful and rich; two things I certainly was not. Sure, we both came from respectable households but her family was overflowing with money whereas mine was penniless. Once I snapped out of my thoughts, I noticed everyone in the room was looking at me as if they were expecting an answer. I took a deep breath and formed a small smile on my face to try and cover up my confusion at what I was expected to do.

"Oh Alyssa."giggled Lady Florentina. "Your thoughts were clearly distracting you."

I opened my mouth to speak but the Countess joined in the conversation.

"Do not be too hard on her Florentina.  Alyssa is much too stressed with wedding preparations at the moment. She barely has any time to sleep."she said kindly while smiling at me with kind eyes. The Countess always had my back and I could count on her to help me through a difficult or ambiguous situation. I was glad she would be my new mother-in-law. She would be the one good thing I would benefit from by marrying Jonathan.

"I was going to say but I did not want to sound rude, you do look awfully tired..."remarked Florentina batting her eyelashes at me, trying her best to hide her glare from the others with her teacup.

"Well I think you look very fine." said Lord Esteban as he nodded at me.

"Thank you, uh m'lord." I stuttered.

"Well I certainly would hate to disturb you from your rest Lady Alyssa. In fact, I think you should retire right this instant." said Lady Florentina as she twirled a strand of her blonde hair between her fingers.

"Really it won't be necessary..."

"But even the Countess herself said so. You cannot be tired at this time. You must go rest so as to be at your best when the preparations continue."she insisted.  I nervously glanced at the Countess who sat on the armchair looking appauled, her head resting on her hand. Lord Esteban looked like he wanted to nudge his cousin so hard, she would fall to the ground and the Earl was staring in the distance showing a state of utter boredom. However, Jonathan seemed to find the entire situation amusing and could not stop smiling with each word that left Florentina's mouth.

He looked handsome as he smiled and I could not bring myself to be angry at him for that smile set my heart on fire. My heart; the same heart that ached for his smile to be diverted towards me. But at that moment, it was all for Florentina.  I had been trying to receive some kind of unforced affection from him for almost a month when Florentina walked in and all she had to do was sit there and insult me to attract his attention.

I did then what I thought was best in that situation. I stood up, excused myself and left. I shut myself up in my room and I cried and screamed but not too loud as not to be heard by the others. I had not asked for this. I had instead yearned to be back at Sheffield, young and free and dressed up in yellow petticoats, with my sisters climbing trees and searching for honeycombs in the gardens. Picking flowers and rolling down the hill with our straw hats.  I wanted to go back there so badly. To experience those things all over again. To truly feel happy.  I had lost all connection with the feeling of happiness as though it no longer existed ever since my love was killed.

I closed my eyes and tried my best to imagine that I was back home, with my sisters, back to the days before my father was a gambler, before we were broke, back to when we were a family and I let myself drift off to sleep.