Face The Music

Moving Forward...Or Not

The parade ended, and it was finally time to head back to the bus after a grueling, excruciating day. The girls met up with their mom, and I took a seat in the back of the bus. I raised the armrests so I had the whole row to myself, leaning my back against the window so I could elevate my foot on the seats. It was bruised and a little swollen.

I laid my head back against the window and tried to pull myself together. I wanted to text my mom. I wanted to tell my ride-or-die, Natty, what a shit day I had. I wanted to go home and sleep in my bed, then never leave my room again. My life felt like a complete disaster.

I opened my eyes when I heard lots of laughing and giggles. Addie, Zoey, Claire, and Sophia were coming back into the bus. Each of them had a brand new pair of Mickey or Minnie ears and shopping bags with souvenirs.

They didn't even look at me when they sat down. They were all talking amongst themselves, showing each other the cute pictures on their phones and the souvenirs they got. Zoey took two rubber duckies with Mickey Mouse ears on them out of her plastic shopping bag. I pouted. My little cousin Emmy loved those things. She would've been so happy if I got her one.

The bus ride back to the hotel felt a lot longer than it should've been. Probably because I was so glued to my phone that I didn't know what life was like without it. The sun was setting, the sky was getting dark, and I thought about how awkward it was going to be back in my room with Zoey after the day that I just had.

But once we got back, I didn't really have to worry about it. She took her suitcase, packed her stuff, and went to the room next door, where two of the other girls were staying without a word. Zoey had no spine, and I know she was embarrassed.

I went into bed, ordered room service, and watched a movie while my phone finally charged. After that I unloaded my emotions via text on Natty, then changed into my pajamas and fell asleep.

The next day I woke up to my empty room, still wondering why and how Zoey just decided to drop me like I was trash. This was literally the Nationals trip from hell. I got out of bed, took a shower and then ordered room service because I didn't want to have breakfast downstairs with everyone.

With the way this pregnancy was going, I was either super nauseous or voraciously hungry. I ordered pancakes, bacon, and toast. Once it arrived, it was gone in minutes: a decision I later regretted as I hurled in the tiny bathroom of the plane on the way home.

We landed back in Oak Falls around dinnertime, and I was so happy to see my mom when she pulled up at the airport to pick me up. I could finally have a sense of peace with someone I trusted.

We went home, she got me my favorite soup, and we curled up under the blankets of the couch and started watching a baking show on Netflix.

"So, have you thought about what you want to do?" she asked in the middle of the episode.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Do you still want to dance after the competition break? I know you love it, but do you think you can face those girls again? Do you still want to stay in school with all the drama and Hudson giving you a hard time?" she asked. "Because if you want to quit dance or do homeschooling, those are both options."

"I'll never quit dance, even if I have to deal with a bunch of nasty bitches. Those girls will never stop me," I said.

My mom chuckled. "I didn't expect anything less from you. I knew that would be your answer. I set up your appointment with your Aunt. It's for Tuesday. You can just leave at lunch and take the rest of the day off."

"With...Aunt Andrea?"

"She's an OBGYN, so yes."

I shivered at the thought of my aunt seeing me...exposed. I usually saw the assistant at her office, but now that I was pregnant it seemed like it was a different story.

"Do I get an ultrasound, too?" I asked.

"Of course you do!" she said.

I placed my hand on my itty-bitty baby bump. In just a few days I'd finally get to see them again. At least I had something to look forward to.