Calzona- Fourth Times A Charm

Chapter 13

Arizonas pov

One month later, a little bit into Sofias new school year in Seattle.

-

"I don't know!" She yelled from across the room.

"What do you mean you don't know? You have everything here! You told me you love me! All you have there is a job that makes you unhappy and an ex girlfriend who you didn't even really love!" I paused, and my tone changed to a vulnerable one that even I was shocked by- "you told me that you love me..."

Instead of softening at my vulnerability, that I wish I could've never had, she gained an angry expression.

"Arizona, you don't EVER get to guilt me like that! Of course I love you! I've loved you all along! It doesn't mean I want to be with you! You cheated on me, you hated me for deciding the amputate to save your life! You hurt me Arizona! I know I've said I forgive you, but now that we are trying again, I really don't know if I do..."

All of the sudden, I felt queasy. She doesn't know. I love her with every fiber in my body, but she doesn't know if she wants to be with me. All of the sudden, it didn't matter. Was this all a mistake? Could it been? My life has been better than I ever would've imagined it could've been after the custody battle since she left. I love her. I just needed her, and Sofia, but I needed my Calliope. All of the sudden my guilt of cheating on her came tumbling down to me like and avalanche. My guilt from how I treated her for saving my life was worse. My guilt for going to Africa without her finally hit my like a smack across the face. My world around me seemed to go away and I backed away, and sat on the edge of my bed. I distantly heard my beautiful lady talking to me, but I didn't really hear her. I knew she was saying something though. My thoughts spiraled, and thats when it truly hit me. I don't deserve her. I really don't. I've said it before to please her and others, but now I really feel it. Sure, she's hurt me, badly, but not like I've hurt her.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably just a minute our two, Callie brought me back to reality. The feeling were still there, but now I just had to face them. Despite how much it hurt me, I knew what I had to do.

"Calliope?"

"Hmm?"

She has now softened towards me and we both had tears threatening to drip from our eyes. She had a hand on my arm lovingly rubbing circles, which only made it harder.

"Callie, if I really love you, I have to.... Uhm...You should go back to New York. I've always created pain for you, and I don't want to end up hurting you again. So you should go. Go and find someone who's not like me. Or maybe try again with Penny, she loved you, and never hurt you like me. Just go and be happy Calliope, come visit Sofia whenever you want, but mostly, go be happy Calliope."

She looked completely horrified. The look on her face was so indescribable in detail. I've never seen her look that shocked, scared, and upset in her life. Why? I just told her to go be happy. Our tears that threatened to drop now streamed. I love her.

A/n-
Wow! That was a lot! Does anybody have any idea on what should happen next? Because I you don't Callie *might* end up in New York...