Lou x reader (one shots)

Step by step

I wanted to make a little comfort imagine, I struggle with intimacy a lot and the idea of sex scares me. I thought about if I had a partner how I'd go about expressing this/ overcoming them. I suppose it would be taking steps starting small like holding hands/ kissing etc. I don't think I'll ever write Smut as I'm not comfortable within myself to do that but I'd still like to write about intimacy. I hope you enjoy 💜💕
‼️TW‼️ Maybe? Talk of intimacy/sex, Self conscious thoughts (Nothing major)

You and you're partner Lou had been officially together for 6 months now and you couldn't be happier, she was patient always telling you that you both have all the time in the world. Being in a relationship was new and something that made you nervous as intimacy had always been a struggle due to not really knowing how to do it. Whether is was holding hands or kissing, a lot of the time you overthought it and made yourself uncomfortable. You and Lou had a long conversation about it as you'd not yet kissed her  and when you told her your issues she gave you a gentle smile and told you that there was no rush and that she would always help you when you need it.

A plan had been made one that was safe and consensual for you both,  that you'd take it in steps however small the act of intimacy was. She told you to create a safe word which you'd said wasn't needed but Lou explained how important it was that even if it's just a hug from behind or a kiss to the cheek, that word would help to know if you where not comfortable and keep you both safe; you decided on Ice Cream as it was Lous favourite dessert. She'd let you have full control of when, where and how you would be intimate and Lou handled everything with care and a gentle smile. 

One day when you where walking in the park side by side you tugged on the sleeve of Lous blazer, she looked at you with those crystal blue eyes which found a mix of nervousness and love in your Y/E/C ones. 'What's wrong honey? Are you cold?' Lou said tenderly as she stopped walking. You nervously smiled at her and stuttered out 'no I- well I would like to hold you hand...if that's ok.' You muttered the last part as you could feel your cheeks begin to flush. Lou looked at you like you hung the moon and she softly came closer to you but keeping a small distance just to keep you at ease, 'I would love that Y/N, remember your safe word. I love you, if it gets to much then I will let go immediately.' You nodded 'I love you too' you smiled and held out your hand, she took it gently and wrapped her fingers around your knuckles, you marvelled at her soft skin and the warmth that invaded not only your hand but travelled around your body. 'Soft' you whispered as you subconsciously rubbed your thumb on the back of her hand she just chuckled 'Is this ok?' And you nodded as you started walking at a slow pace.

That was the first step for you, you felt safe holding her hand and it helped put a little confidence in you. A couple weeks later you where both at Lous loft each on the opposite sides of the couch watching a film. The loft was chilly and you hadn't got the feeling of her warm skin on yours out of your mind since the park. Throughout the film you started shuffling closer, your mind ran wild with thoughts of how Lou wouldn't want you to touch her, how creepy you where, how you couldn't even give her kiss because you're pathetic. 'Y/N?' Lou questioned, that snapped you out of your thoughts as you realised that you was sat close to Lou now, thighs almost touching. 'What's wrong sweetheart?' She asked gently, 'can we- erm can we hug? I mean can we cuddle?' You looked at the ground as you were waiting for her to reject you. 'Of course my love, come here.' She spread her legs and moved so you could be in the middle, you slowly inched back until your back was to her chest. You let out a sigh as your head rested in the crook of her neck putting one arm around her waist. 'Can I put my arms around you Y/N?' You nodded and she embraced you not too tight either, just enough weight to take away those thoughts from your head and relax you. 'Thank you for being so patient Lou, I want you to know you make me feel so safe and I'm sorry I don't know how to show it a lot of the time.' She slowly rubbed your back 'you've got nothing to apologise for my darling, you are doing so well and I want you to feel secure with me. You show me enough everyday!' You don't remember how long you laid like that but it became a ritual for you that you had to hug her at least once a day, each time made you more determined to keep going.

One month later you had just got home from work, you was irritated and tired you threw your coat and bag on the floor as you wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. As you where walking to the kitchen you heard music and pots clanging, you stepped into the room seeing Lou cooking and humming to the music. You don't know what came over you but you walked quickly too her and pressed a kiss to her cheek. You both froze as you're face blushed and you started to back away thinking you had over stepped. Lou quickly turned around but gently grabbed your upper arm 'hey, don't be ashamed honey, are you ok?' She tipped your chin up with her thumb 'y-yes I'm sorry...' you mumbled. 'No, no, no sweetheart! You've got nothing to be sorry for, it was a truly a lovely surprise.' You blushed even more at her words 'can I- erm I mean can I kiss you... I want to kiss you... on the lips?' You felt childish for even asking but she offered you a encouraging smile while pulling you closer 'of course, we'll take it nice and slow.' You inched forward as she nudged your nose with hers, she gently cupped you're cheeks and brought her lips to yours. It felt magical as you held her by her shoulders slightly shaking, your lips didn't move they where pressed together but not in an awkward way Lou was lovingly stroking your cheeks as you slowly started to move your lips. You hummed sweetly as you wrapped your hand in her hair, you could feel her smile against your lips as you pulled away for air. 'Wow' was all you could say as Lou let out a giggle 'I'm glad you liked it my love, now go get changed and let me make dinner!' You kissed her one more time before sprinting to get changed.
It was going to be ok, step by step your relationship was blossoming.

Hey I hope you all enjoy! Another comfort fic! Idk there's something about making stories that deal with the issues I have extremely helpful!
Be kind 💜