Cherry Wine

t h r e e

I said no.

I couldn't date him. I simply couldn't. There were so many reasons or frankly said, excuses. For starters, mom wouldn't be happy with it. She probably won't encourage me dating a guy during the time I needed to focus on my studies. And I really didn't want to ruin our friendship with this whole dating thing.

They sounded stupid, even to me. I've never been good with coming up with excuses. And yet, I turned him down ruthlessly. Every time I said no, Noah's smile would crumble a bit but it would be replaced by a full blown grin in seconds. He seemed confident that I couldn't hold up for long.

And it was true. Of course I wanted to date Noah. But for some reason, I was... scared. I didn't know why, but I was terrified out of my mind.

It was during a late Sunday afternoon. I was sending Noah some memes and there it was again. The big question.

'So when are you going to say yes?' the text read.

I stared at it good and hard, almost as if my glares would make it magically disappear. But it stayed. Stubborn, questioning and cheeky. If I said no now, I knew that Noah would drop the subject, possibly even forever. I would get what I want. Everything would remain normal, peaceful and calm. Just like it had always been. I whispered the answer to myself, "No. No, I won't say yes."

It rolled off my tongue effortlessly. Saying no was nothing new to me. Doing the right thing was a trait which was engrained in my system. Every decision, every choice, every answer, it was never what I wanted. It was always about what was right and what had to be done.

Do you want another chocolate, Abby? No, mom. It's fine.

Do you want to go to your friend's party, Abby? No, I'd rather study.

Don't you want to come have fun with us, Abby? No. No, I don't.

There was another text from Noah, 'hello? Abby? You still here? I asked you if you'd go out with me.'

Say no, say no, say no, say no.

I texted back, 'yes.'

***

Red was the colour of my lipstick on our first date.

I was almost dizzy with excitement. Even when Sarah almost tore my hair off my scalp in the name of styling it, the smile on my face just refused to leave. 

Sarah whistled, "Damn girl, you look drop-dead gorgeous. Loverboy's gonna have a hard time controlling himself."

I had never been good at receiving compliments because it was almost always forced or I mostly thought I was undeserving of them. But when I heard Sarah say that, I just grinned wider. Because this time, it might just be true.

Noah had insisted on taking me on a traditional date. When I asked him what it was all about, he just gave me the smile he had just for me and said, "You're just about to see that you're not the biggest starry-eyed romantic around here."

The girl who was staring back at me from the mirror seemed foreign to me. From my childhood, all I wanted was this. A fairy tale; a love story. But now that it was actually happening, it all seemed so unreal. Like the last note of a dream which was about to slip away from my fingers

I did know one thing though. If it was a dream, I didn't ever want to wake up.

I touched my cheek and let out a little laugh. My tanned skin was warm and flushed and my eyes had a certain glow to them. I was wearing a dress which I borrowed from Sarah. It was a little black dress which reached my knees. My hair came to my shoulders in soft blonde curls. I looked beautiful. I looked happy. I looked alive.