~30~

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The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of
I'd be so lost if you left me alone

~~

Sometimes, when your grief becomes too overwhelming your mind decides to block it all out. All the agony, every emotion, replacing it all with numbness. It's a defense mechanism of sorts but only a temporary one.

My mind was blank, my whole body numb. I'd gained consciousness a while ago and found myself seated beside Warren in the passenger seat of a car.

Warren's wary gaze flitted to me again briefly from behind the wheel. He was probably worried I'd do something stupid like smash my head against the window or try to jump out of the moving car but I was too emotionally exhausted at this point.

We drove in silence for a while.

Warren stopped the car suddenly making me lurch forward in my seat, the seat belt dug into my chest.

He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. "Don't you have any questions?"

I looked at him. For the first time I realized that his usual thick Italian accent had vanished. He was speaking English in a perfect American accent.

"Who exactly are you Warren?" I asked, my voice came out sharper than I intended.

Warren didn't seem to mind because he gave me a flitting smile. "My real name is Owen Harris. I work for Interpol which is an International criminal police organization."

My eyes widened in disbelief. "Y-you're a spy?" I sputtered in disbelief.

Warren, no Owen, had the decency to look embarrassed. "I was working to collect Intel on the Alfonsi family."

I was still reeling from the shock.

Warren had He'd been spying and collecting information on the Alfonsi family all this time? It was difficult to believe.

"So today when the authorities raided the safe-house-?" I whispered.

Warren gave a sharp nod. "I had collected sufficient information and evidence. It was time to bring those criminals to justice."

I flinched at his words and his expression softened. "I didn't mean Sebastian." Warren swallowed thickly. "He was a good man." He said gently.

An invisible fist squeezed my heart. My hands started shaking.

"H-he deserves a proper funeral at least." I finally managed to choke out as tears spilled down my cheeks. "I owe him that much."

Warren sighed. "I'm sorry but you can't go back Angelica," I started to argue but he cut me off. "If you go back now, everything he has done will be for nothing."

I wanted to ask him what he meant but before I could he motioned outside.

I noticed that we were parked outside a small motel.

"There's a room booked under your name. Take a shower, get changed." Warren's voice was gentle.

I realized that my arms and clothes were caked with dried blood.

Sebastian's blood.

Bile started rising in my throat.

I flung the car door open and staggered outside. My whole body heaved as I threw up the contents of my stomach.

Warren patted my back awkwardly as I continued to dry heave.

I was shaking, my whole body was drenched in cold sweat.

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