When Hands Touch

12. fall apart

warning: brief mention of transphobia.

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CHAPTER TWELVE

FALL APART

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The tension was overwhelming.

It had been three whole days since Milo got into that fucking argument with Xen, and they hadn't spoken since. Milo didn't even bother going to Xen's house to study, because he knew that it would result in another argument, as it almost always did.

Unfortunately, that meant that Milo was about to fail the test he had today.

Currently, Evangeline was telling the group about Ivy, and how the oblivious fucking dog chased the ceiling fan for over an hour, because she was confused as to why it was spinning in circles. And Milo was trying his best to pay attention— he loved listening to stories about Ivy's shenanigans— but he physically couldn't.

The tension between him and Xen was practically suffocating him, and he couldn't concentrate without wondering if he should just say something and apologise, instead of being immature and giving him constant glances that were probably getting annoying.

"Man, Ivy's genuinely such a fuckin' baby. I miss her cute ass face. Ivy and Milo are my two favourite golden retrievers," Jude grumbled, poking Milo's cheek. "But Milo never reciprocates the love."

Xen let out a small laugh, turning his head around to talk to Evangeline. "Honestly, I miss her too. Do you think I could see her sometime? I love dogs, but I don't get to play with any of them."

Face brightening up, Evangeline nodded enthusiastically. "You and Milo can take her for a walk together! She likes y'all way more than she likes any of us."

Milo tensed up, shoulders becoming rigid. His eyes flitted towards Xen, who instantly looked away, letting his gaze drop to the table. Fuck.

It was his own fault. Milo knew that much. He knew that he shouldn't have pushed, and that he should have just respected Xen's wishes and shut the fuck up, instead of pushing him for information that he didn't want to share.

But Xen's words still hurt. And Milo didn't know how to apologise.

"Yeah," Milo mumbled, shoving some food into his mouth so that he wouldn't have to say anything else. "That'd be cool."

"Oh, also!" Evangeline exclaimed. "Can Jude and I come over today? Ray and Faiza already said they're not coming because they're boring. But we wanna hang out!"

Milo nodded. "Yeah, that's cool."

Ray sent a questioning look in Milo"s direction. "What's up with— ow! Faiza!"

Faiza just smiled sweetly, patting Ray's cheek. "Shut up."

Milo sent her a grateful smile. He knew that Ray was about to question his odd behaviour and his short answers. Even if he did question it, Milo wouldn't have been able to give him in answer, because he didn't know what was wrong.

He knew that he was upset about the whole Xen situation, and he knew that he was upset that he was going to fail the test today. But those things never used to bother him before, not really, so he didn't understand why he was so upset about it now.

"You good?" Jude whispered to Milo when the group was engrossed in their own conversation. "You look sad."

"I'm going to fail my test today, Jude," Milo told him, already feeling the familiar heat begin to form behind his eyes. Don't cry, stupid. Don't fucking cry. "I'm genuinely going to fucking fail."